Category Archives: Pet Peeves

The Abandoning of Gaza by its Brethren

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By GORDON GLANTZ

Do you find it odd the worldwide protests
against Israel, the target of the Oct. 7
atrocities, were almost simultaneous with
the terrorist attack?
It was almost as if it was coordinated.
And these protests have quickly devolved
from the nonsensical comments about
being “anti-Zionist but not anti-Semitic” to
calls for Israel (and Jews) to be completely
obliterated from the map for the crime of
ever existing in the first place.
That is another discussion for another time,
however.
The ire directly just at Israel – and Jews in
general — is particularly curious when one
considers the cold shoulder the vast

majority of the Arab world has given to its
alleged brethren.
It is not new.
There is a long and bitter history there, and
seemingly remains swept under the rug.
Let us not lose sight of what was about to
occur before since Oct. 7, as a peace treaty
between Israel and Saudi Arabia seemed
imminent.
Saudi Arabia still has not slammed the door
on the mutually convenient concept.
Meanwhile, other countries — UAE,
Morocco and Bahrain — didn’t even
withdraw their ambassadors from Israel
(Jordan only did because it has a sizeable
Palestinian population).

Back in 1982, at the time of the Israeli
invasion of Lebanon, there was a massacre
at a Palestine refugee camp (Shatila).
Carried about by Israelis? Nope.
Lebanese forces killed as many as 3,500
civilians.
And just three years after the Shatila
massacre, in 1985, something started called
the “War of the Camps” took place. That
was Lebanese Shia, backed by Syria and
Iran, laying siege to the Shatila and Bourj el-
Barajneh camps for close to three years
with untold numbers of dead and wounded
among the Palestinians.
Back in 1975, in the early days of the
Lebanese Civil War, a Palestinian refugee
camp in East Beirut was leveled.

Why don’t we hear about this sordid
history?
Because it doesn’t fit the anti-Israel and
anti-Semitic narrative, that’s why.
While supporters of Israel tend to paint Iran
as an ardent backer of Hamas, it is a more
complicated marriage of convenience.
Experts actually don’t think the Iranians
planned the Oct. 7 attack, with Hamas
doing the dirty work, but they do agree they
weren’t too bothered by it, either.
Iran had to know, though, that Israel would
strike back, and strike hard, and really
hasn’t gotten too directly involved.
With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Lip service aside, the Arab world has left
Gaza hanging out to dry.

This disturbing history of the Palestinians
being the black sheep of their own family
can be traced back even further.
The 1967 war — and emergence of the PLO
as the representative of the Palestinian
people — was a key turning point, as the
Palestinians had effectively been a function
of other Arab states and Arab militaries
The 1967 war forced hundreds of thousands
of Palestinians into exile, following their
brethren from the 1948 war with Israel.
Many wound up in Lebanon and Jordan,
and were given enough autonomy to run
the camps.
Still, the Arab states, particularly those
around Palestine and Israel, never wanted
to see an independent Palestinian
movement, let alone a state.

Why? The Arab states didn’t really want a
war with Israel after getting taken out to
the woodshed by the neophyte Jewish state
in the 1947-48.
The 1967 war – a.k.a. the Six Day War — put
an end to dreams of the conquest of Israel,
and it gave rise to the PLO as a somewhat
independent force.
That is what led to Black September, a
militant wing of the PLO, and its 1970 aim
to overthrow the Jordanian monarchy.
It should be noted that the Syrians withheld
the air support for the Palestinians they had
promised. The air force was under
command of a general named Hafez al-
Assad (later ruler of Syria), who reportedly
loathed the Palestinians.

While street rhetoric in the Arab world was
pro-Palestinian, the Arab governments
basically turned their backs.
In Syria – and also Jordan and Egypt – there
were open campaigns against the PLO.
There is no Palestinian population – at all –
in Egypt, which bristled at Secretary of State
Anthony Blinken’s suggestion that the
Egyptians absorb refugees from Gaza (even
temporarily).

Displaced Palestinians walk next to the border fence between Gaza and Egypt, on February 16, 2024 in Rafah, in the southern Gaza Strip, amid the ongoing conflict between Israel and the Palestinian Hamas militant group. – Nearly 1.5 million displaced Palestinians are trapped in Rafah — more than half of Gaza’s populations — seeking shelter in a sprawling makeshift encampment near the Egyptian border. (Photo by MOHAMMED ABED / AFP)

They have a wall, in fact, that would put Donald’s Trump’s wet dreams to shame (see above).

And, yet, you see no Egyptian flags being
burned at protests. There are no chants and
signs about recalling aid, of which it
receives plenty, from the U.S.
Then again, Egypt, saw the threat in 1970
when the Jordanian prime minister, Wasfi
Tal, was assassinated in Cairo by Palestinian
activists who were literally so literally bloodthirsty that one reportedly knelt down
and drank the blood of the victim (you can’t
make this up).
Yasser Arafat, who later reneged on peace
accords with Israel that would have led to a
two-state solution well before all of this
current loss of life, claimed responsibility.
Arafat, who died in 2004, reportedly
diverted nearly $1 billion in public funds to
himself, under the guise of his “political
survival,” but reports are that much more
was left unaccounted for to this day.
Consider all that – and the bad blood (pun
intended) between Arabs and Palestinians —
while watching the starvation on TV.

The Art of Knowing Something

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By GORDON GLANTZ

GORDONVILLE — Ready for some time travel?

In the middle of the 19th century, there was a political party born out of xenophobia/anti-Catholic feelings of protestants who saw themselves as the real Americans from real America.

When asked for specifics of their stances, members were instructed to say “I know nothing.”

History remembers them as the “Know Nothing” party. While it didn’t officially last, it still exists, does it not?

Ironically, it was officially known as the Native American Party or the American party.

Sound familiar?

It should.

Eerily.

After all, they wanted their country back.

Xenophobia – fears of strangers – is as American as not acknowledging the Native Americans were actually here first and that black people were forced immigrants.

You know, like baseball and Apple Pie and all that baloney.

I would say that the Know Nothing Party swam back to the surface from its cesspool when Donald Trump became a politician – while claiming to be the anti-politician – and was then somehow selected president (despite not winning the popular vote) in 2016.

While implying that “Make America Great Again” was code for “Make America White Again” after two terms of Barack Obama, he built what we now know as his base.

Trump would also sow the seeds of xenophobia by talking about who did and didn’t come here “legally,” which was code for Hispanics seeking refuge in the supposed land of the free and home of the brave.

The base bought it like fake gold watches tucked under the overcoat of a hustler on a city street corner.

They failed to realized that there really wasn’t anything resembling “legal” immigration (at least for all but the Chinese) until a nuanced law on quotas (curiously focused more on certain countries of origin than others) was put in place in 1924.

Instead, there were Italians, Jews, Poles, Germans, Irish, etc. … all following trails blazed by family members already here who sponsored them by paying for their passage.

But let us not let facts get in the way of a good hate parade.

It’s much easier to stay deaf, dumb and blind.

It’s much easier to … know nothing.

What’s past is prologue.

I have really tried to engage base dwellers in some form of intelligent discourse, but I have realized that they are impossible to move off of lame slogans and laughable talking points.

They argue on social media — in ALL CAPS, a 21st century form of yelling — but it doesn’t make their arguments any more coherent.

Oftentimes – not always, but too many to count – I’ll be accused of being a keyboard tough guy who wouldn’t say what I’m saying to their faces.

Inevitably, I’m invited to meet them in public.

The fact that they are challenging me to a dual in the town square makes them the “keyboard tough guy” never occurs to them.

Why should it?

They are charter members of the resurrected Know Nothing party.

They were brought in the political fold, after really not knowing the details of how government and politics work, and believed the steady diet of high-fiber lies they were fed.

Inevitably, they will play their “Trump card” (pun intended) and proclaim, with all the knowledge from the School of Hard Knocks and their advanced degrees from Trump U, that Abraham Lincoln was a Democrat.

Hold on there, Hoss, not so fast in that pickup truck with the oversized American flag.

The Republicans of that time – a time when all men were not created equal — were the liberals and progressives, the same type of people you detest now (think Bernie Sanders, AOC, etc.).

Lincoln was what we know now as left wing. He was either loved or hated, and he was particularly loathed in the South (in what are now known as Red states) because the idea of ending slavery was a threat to their way of life and, specifically, their economy (although plenty of Yankees benefitted, too).

In those days, his haters and baiters were the Democrats – or “Dixiecrats” (Southern Democrats) – who said no to the time of day, let alone any notion of compromise (think Mitch McConnell).

While slavery was the major specific issue, it was under the umbrella of big government vs. small government and how about states’ rights.

Lincoln and the “Republicans” of yesteryear were then the party of big government and less about individual states running themselves, which the slave states obviously wanted.

That is the polar opposite of now, by the way.

Theodore Roosevelt – a self-proclaimed proud progressive — was also a Republican, and he had an ego and hubris that would even put Trump to shame, but his list of accomplishments in two terms shows bipartisanship and liberal leanings.

Examples: Booker T. Washington was the first black person invited by a president to dine as a guest in the White House and first to have a Jewish-American, Oscar Straus, hold a cabinet post.

Among his lasting accomplishments was system of conservation and siding with coal miners in a major strike.

Free of the scourge of contrived bone spurs, he was a heralded frontiersman and soldier.

Teddy Roosevelt ran as a third-party candidate, after failing to recapture the Republican nomination, and went even more into the left lane with a progressive platform (supporting workers’ rights and the suffrage movement) while doubling down on environmental issues.

I can hear the Koch Bros, cringe from here.

It wasn’t until his distant cousin, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, became president in 1932 — and used innovative social programs to lead the country out of the depression — that the party names officially changed as the New Deal took hold.

FDR was a liberal. He was a progressive.

Just like Teddy Roosevelt.

Just like Lincoln.

It was the same mindset, except he was a Democrat, as are the Democrats ever since.

In terms of the superficial labels for the parties, that was a game changer that was further cemented when a Catholic, John F. Kennedy, ran for and became president in 1960.

When the Deep South become firmly Republican? Richard M. Nixon, 1968, adopted what he called his “Southern Strategy” to appeal to those still fighting the Civil War in their minds to switch parties.

They were the same conservatives who believed in states’ “rats” (rights) in the time of Lincoln were, except they were now Republicans.

And that’s when we have been ever since.

You are not the party of Lincoln.

Not in any way, shape or form.

You dishonor his memory by even using his name to defend your nonsense.

Sorry.

Must be a tough life as a Know Nothing.

Abraham Lincoln statue at Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC. Free public domain CC0 photo.
Abraham Lincoln statue at Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC. Free public domain CC0 photo.

The Stench of a Gale Force Wind

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I’m not alone in being blocked!

By GORDON GLANTZ

There is a long-running joke in Montgomery County, Pa.

The butt (pun intended) of this joke is County Commissioner Joe Gale.

“Joe Gale, he has it made,” a jokester will say.

“Why?” one will ask.

“He has a job for life,” the jokester responds.

And it is true, Gale does seemingly have a job for life as the lone Republican among the three serving as our county commissioners.

Sure, he had a temporary delusion of grandeur in May, as his hat as thrown into the ring in his party’s gubernatorial primary. He suffered the ignominy of a distant sixth-place finish, coming away with a paltry 2.1 percent of the vote. By contrast, “winner” Doug Mastriano – lunatic that he is — placed first with a 43.8 plurality.

So, the running joke that is Joe Gale continues.

As the song by The Smiths goes: “That joke isn’t funny anymore.”

And the joke is on us.

While rendered insignificant, Gale seems to be on a mission to earn enough brownie points with the far right that he seemingly thinks Donald Trump might even cut him a check or something,

Yes, Gale’s social media posts are that frightening.

And while the rules call for at least one Republican to be consistently out-voted by Chair Val Arkoosh and Vice Chair Ken Lawrence, perhaps the county would be better served by a less extreme dissenting voice.

Believe it or not, there are still plenty of Republicans, especially locally, that I have respect for in these times of Civil War. And I would respect them more if they raised the bar a bit on who speaks in their name at the county level.

Unlike Facebook, I pretty much steer clear of politics on Instagram, instead using it as a Sofia photo album. However, I admittedly chide Gale’s absurdities posted under “Vote Joe Gale,” which seems like a stupid title considering how few Republicans voted for him around the state in the primary and how he pretty much has a free skate in the county.

That has come to an end, it seems, since I am now blocked from posting comments there anymore.

Seems odd, though, He is an elected official. Last time I checked, I was a resident of the county. I’m a constituent, whether he likes it or not.

Should I be blocked at will because he doesn’t like my constructive criticism or polite protestations?

I guess he just wants to hear what he wants to hear from the small band of bible-thumping Karens whole tell him how great he is for being mean-spirited in the name of Jesus.

Or maybe, well, he’s just a snowflake.

It’s always a bit interesting to see a good portions Republicans wrap themselves up in their peculiar interpretations of the Constitution when they are simultaneously violating it themselves by blocking freedom of speech.

Gale’s whole play – as the good Catholic boy – blows a lot of smoke.

But, you know what they say about smoke, right? Eventually, there will be fire – fire and brimstone.

I guess the stuff about separation of church and state eluded him in school.

He can selectively bounce around the county, taking selfies with law enforcement and attractive women at fairs and carnivals – while throwing in a perfunctory shot of himself with black people – but it doesn’t wash away the more troubling posts on both Instagram and Facebook (also called “Vote For Joe Gale”).

The facts are these (according to betterliving.com): 64.3 percent of county residents identify as being religious, meaning that close to 36 percent (myself included) do not actively practice any specific form of organized religion (whether or not we believe in a higher power or not).

Catholics, based on historical immigration of Irish and Italians (and more recently of Mexicans), are the plurality (at 38.5 percent) but not the majority (that would mean more than 50 percent). And I wonder how may say they are Catholic when polled when they are really just perfunctory Easter-Christmas Catholics.

Someone should tell Gale that, as he seems to be a bit confused about the difference. When you add in the various other Christian denominations, as well as the county’s robust Jewish community (mostly in the Eastern part of the county and the Main Line) – along with the 33.7 percent of us “others” who live, work and pay taxes here – he needs to be made to realize, maybe through official censure or something by peers, that he was elected to represent everyone and not just church ladies with rosary beads who give him feedback of daily affirmations.

I personally know church-going Catholics who are flat-out not impressed with Gale. Those jokes about him? They are often the source, these people.

But he has ripped a page out Trump’s playbook, seeing himself as just governing those – the smaller vocal minority — who think like he does.

The only difference, from my view, is that Trump doesn’t even really believe half of what he says (he was for gun control before he was against it, for example) but feeds off the whims of his followers because it boosts his enormous ego.

For Gale, I’m assuming it is some sort of pathetic cry for attention.

Don’t believe me? Think I’m being hyperbolic?

Let’s look at tone of some of these posts, which seem to be increasing as the proverbial noose tightens around Trump’s neck on the national stage:

-After President Joe Biden came to Philadelphia recently to say some of the types of things that wishy-washy Democrats have been afraid to say for way too long, Gale posted: “This fake Catholic, baby killer has some nerve coming to the great state of Pennsylvania and assassinating the character of God-fearing Americans that rightfully resist the Democrat Party’s reckless, left-wing agenda.”

Whoa! Who is he to call someone a “fake Catholic?” Who is he to call someone a “baby killer?” Does he know what Biden feels, spiritually, in his heart– especially after experiencing a lot of personal family tragedy and a near-death experience? Does he have proof he has personally “killed babies?” And, the usual theme of dividing Americans between being heathens and God-fearing, just because they are for a women’s right to choose what to do with her own body, is so unoriginal that it hurts.

-In response to an article from Fox News (his favorite source, despite its history of playing fast and loose with facts) that said more parents are enrolling kids in Catholic schools to avoid “wokeness” (yes, that’s a word), he responded: “Better yet, consider enrolling your children in the Regina Academies who offer a Catholic classical curriculum that forms both the mind and the soul.” That was followed with an actual web link for the private academies that come with tuitions.

Since when does an elected official serve as an official spokesperson for one school over the other?

And what about non-Catholics, Joe?

There was acknowledgement of some Catholic holidays that seemed innocent enough until you read between the lines.

-For example, there was this: “Happy Feast Day of Saint Raymond Nonnatus, the patron saint of unborn babies, expectant mothers and Christian families. Experience has shown his intercession to be powerful for fertility.”

-And another: “Today is the Memorial of the Passion of Saint John the Baptist. Be fearless in preaching the Good News of the Gospel, no matter the earthly consequences.”

-In response to news that actor Shia LeBeuof converting to Catholicism, he said: “Proof that miracles are real! Saint Padre Pio, pray for us and the conversion of more souls on earth and in purgatory.”

So now we get down to the nitty gritty here. To Gale, all of the rest of us are ticketed for purgatory.

He is allowed to think and say what he wants behind closed doors – or wherever he goes to hide from the hard harsh world he sees (parents’ basement, perhaps) – but not on an official page called “Vote For Joe Gale.”

Before he blocked me on Instagram, I playfully asked if he was going to wish his Jewish constituents a Happy New Year. Certainly no violation of any Internet rules about violence or language, especially at a threshold for an elected leader, but I know the answer.

Crickets.

After all, his page also included a cartoon evoking old anti-Semitic tropes and the following comment: “Like many big city District Attorneys, Philly DA Larry Krasner is bankrolled by globalist billionaire George Soros. The chaos and destruction that’s ensued is no coincidence.”

In case you didn’t know, Krasner and Soros are both Jewish. I guess our pious commissioner couldn’t resist.

Henry Ford would be so proud.

If Gale can’t get an audience with the pope, maybe he can go hang out with Mel Gibson and Van Morrison.

While he doesn’t mention Trump by name much, which is probably by design, Gale is running a lot of the same fullback dives from Page 1 of the playbook.

-On Anthony Fauci stepping down: “Good riddance to this swamp creature who contributed to the needless suffering of many families, students and small-businesses across Pennsylvania and the country.”

Mature, huh? Not sounding real, uh, religious to me. The immaturity, though, does wreak of Trump.

Abortion is Gales repeated theme. While I admit that “pro-abortion” is a stupid and destructive term, as no one is really “pro-abortion” as much as they are “pro-choice,” he cherry-picked a post that Arkoosh “liked” as being “sick.”

He said funding for Planned Parent was “Blood money.” No word on the NRA, in terms of blood money, although he did provide some skewed stats about where guns are sold and where crimes happen, which was following by more conveniently religious psychobabble: “Statistics prove the problem is not law abiding gun ownership, but hearts without God.”

And – unfortunately — there is more:

-He also had another post of a Rosary in a hand, and added that he was “feeling kind of ‘extremist’ today, think I’ll pray my Rosary.” Yes, not a misprint, that’s an elected official openly referring to himself as an “extremist.”

-While Philadelphia is just a tad bit out of his jurisdiction, Gale couldn’t help but pounce on a School District of Philadelphia mask mandate for the returning to school: “Pre-Kindergarteners will suffer another year of indignity and fear-mongering at the hands of the radical leftists who run the Philadelphia School District. Families and children across the city deserve better.”

So does Montgomery County.

When it comes to Joe Gale, we deserve a lot better.

Normalizing An Addiction

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By GORDON GLANTZ

GORDONVILLE – Those commercials for new and improved medicines? I’m sure you have seen them. So hideously that you cover your eyes out of embarrassment for whomever was responsible.

We’ll get a brief description of the minor health issue the pills are for, followed by so many dire warnings and scary side effects – up to and including sudden death — that it seems better to just have cold fingertips or hot feet in the morning.

But give them credit for laying it all out, slowly and concisely.

I wish I can say the same for the cottage gambling industry that has placed a firm chokehold on our culture.

Yeah, everybody bets a little and doing it online is probably better than going through a bookie in a dark alley, but there still seems to be a sudden casual acceptance that I find a bit troubling.

At the end of the gambling commercials, commonplace on sports-talk radio stations and during sporting events, the voiceover is so rapidfire that you can barely make out the CYA 1-800-GAMBLER part and something quickly muttered about Gambler’s Anonymous.

What is troubling, and what has this racing up my list of burgeoning pet peeves, is that many regional and national sports heroes of our recent past are used as spokespeople (pawns, really) for these operations (don’t get me started on Pete Rose not going into Cooperstown but no Hall of Fame credentials getting yanked for these ex-jocks in need of a pay day).

The statistics back up a difficult fact that our country, especially at a time when people are at home more, is dealing with a gambling problem that is most prevalent in teens and young adults who are the most computer literate and almost see gambling as a video game without real consequences.

Compared to the immediacy of drug addition, gambling addiction is pretty much swept under the rug.

Consider the following:

-As many as 10 million Americans live with a gambling addiction. While the act of gambling itself is not illegal, making it easier justifies risky gambling behaviors.

-The numbers show that the majority of people who have a gambling addiction are not self-aware enough to see it as a problem. In fact, just 21 percent of incarcerated individuals assessed as having gambling addiction thought that their gambling was problematic.

-Gambling trends indicate dire consequences with the advent of the internet making gambling more accessible. As a result, the number of lives negatively affected by gambling has also increased.

Specifically, two areas where the addiction has hit hard is with college students and with domestic violence, as studies show it is more likely to occur when a parent is a compulsive gambler.

Children of gamblers, according to experts, are more prone to develop depression and substance abuse later in life.

According to a combination of national studies, 1 in 20 college students meet the criteria for compulsive gambling.

That rate is more than double that of the overall adult population. A major reason for these high rates seem to point to the accessibility of gambling through the internet, as some studies indicate that 23 percent of college students report gambling online (with 6 percent doing so weekly).

And then there is the issue of criminality. While gambling is legal in most states, there is still a connection to breaking the law, as about half of compulsive gamblers commit predictable crimes. All are committed in an attempt to get money to gamble with and/or to pay off debts.

The crimes range from forgery to fraud to petty theft, etc. As compulsive gambling increases, and primarily under the radar, the correlation with crime will as well

Don’t believe me, try these facts and figure on for size:

  • More than two-thirds of compulsive gamblers report committing crimes directly related to gambling, and approximately 40 percent of compulsive gamblers report the only crimes they commit are related to gambling.
  • Somewhere between 80 to 90 percent of individuals who attend Gamblers Anonymous report engaging in illegal acts to get money for gambling.
  • An estimated 63 percent of Gamblers Anonymous members reported writing bad checks, and approximately 30 percent reported stealing from work.
  • Nearly 70 percent of gamblers assessed as having a severe problem reported engaging in illegal acts relating to gambling, compared to roughly 26 percent assessed to have moderate severity.
  • A study of Gamblers Anonymous members found that 57 percent had stolen to finance their gambling with a combined financial impact of theft equaling $30 million.
  • Compulsive gamblers are arrested seven times more frequently than non-gamblers.

But there is more than all these damning facts and figures.

There are the personal stories.

For me, this all hits a little too close to home and rattles skeletons rattling around in my own closet.

My stepfather was a gambler. I was a kid, and not around on weekends (at my father’s house), so I don’t really know the full extent. Looking back now at some of the uneven behavior, a lot adds up that gambling was fueling an engine often running off the road.

The sins of the stepfather were not visited upon the stepson, as my chances placing a rare bet of more than $5 on anything are less than me dunking a basketball. And I was not the victim of any sort of physical abuse.

But there was some emotional abuse, and it got worse around the same time gambling became legal in Atlantic City.

After retiring, that’s where he and my mother lived half the year. I was already a young adult when we would visit, but I remember him Jonesing to finish dinner to go off and play Black Jack and Roulette.

He played so much that there were stretches where this casino or that one would comp him (he was also frequently comped on gambling junkets on cruise ships when they spent the other half of the year in Florida).

I was fine with it, staying in those rooms and eating in those exclusive restaurants, where he would still have ants in his pants to hit the casino with what seemed to be a self-fulfilling prophecy to lose.

He would win $5K and then lose it all back within 24 hours. It was a vicious cycle, and one we couldn’t wait to get away from after a night or two when the focus should have been more on, say, a young Sofia.

There were those who had it worse. There was a friend of my stepfather that he won a Jaguar from in a high-stakes poker game, which was reminiscent of him winning – and then losing – a West Philly diner in the late 1960s (I only heard that story as a whimsical remembrance).

Even though he kept at it, owned by his compulsion (common in older men to the tune of 69 percent), he always said gambling was a game for losers and that the house always wins.

That was enough for me. For these young people I see placing bets on their phones like fiends? I’m not so sure.

A (First) Name I’d Rather Forget

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By GORDON GLANTZ

What, exactly, do I do these days?

Well, in addition to being Sofia’s chauffeur, I handle a wide array of freelance articles about subjects ranging from hearing loss to anesthesiology to business and sports features.

And, yet somehow, I find myself with so much time on my hands that I’m on Facebook and invariably picking fights with either wrong-wingers who can twist their so-called minds so much that they can justify insurrection or Eagles’ fans who somehow think a position coach from a 4-11-1 team should have been promoted from within to head coach.

What I often find myself doing, in both frustrating realms, is serving as a combination of English teacher and Journalism professor.

Before I can even argue posts with little to no punctuation or capitalization, I find myself correcting what it took me two times to read only to find it wasn’t worth one read because of the stupidity.

One of the major pet peeves, particularly with Eagles fans, is the usage of first names – Carson, Doug, Alshon, Howie, etc. – on first reference.

It’s not just the so-called fans, as I find this occurring with radio hosts on sports talk stations and with the vast array fledgling sites where the “experts” throw their stuff against the wall in hopes that sticks.

Here’s my thing: If you know the individual on a personal level, fine. I know, as a former second-tier sports writer myself, that is rarely – if ever – the case with pro athletes.

Maybe I’m from the old school, and maybe the old school has been burned to the ground in the name of “progress,” but nobody gave me the memo.

It was pretty simple back in Journalism school. First reference, full name (i.e. Zach Ertz). Second reference, last name (Ertz). Only time he can be called “Zach” is if he is referred to as such by a teammate or coach, or even an opposing player or coach, in a quote.

Other than that, it’s unacceptable.

Unless you know the person. Unless you are on a first-name basis.

In my previous lifetime in the newspaper business, I earned that status with some local semi-luminaries.

One of them, I’m now sorry to say, is Bruce Castor.

He was no Bruce Springsteen, but he was an OK “Bruce” that I actually knew fairly well – first professionally and then more casually as members of the Mangioni Society (basically a bunch of guys getting together to eat, drink and be merry.).

I first came into Castor’s orbit as a police beat reporter with The Times Herald when he was the District Attorney.

I have to say, he was awesome to deal with. He was followed in that post by Risa Ferman, who could have been standing astride over a dead body and still wouldn’t say that a murder had been committed.

Bruce? Heck, he could fill up your notebook without really saying anything.

And he could call a mean press conference, laying all the drugs and firearms from a recent bust.

He was a reporter’s dream, but there was a catch. He loved the limelight. His favorite topic was himself, or an extension (i.e classic Corvette).

But I played the game.

It was a quid pro quo.

As I moved up and on to managing editor, Bruce – if I can call him Bruce – eventually became a county commissioner.

Even though he played on the wrong team as a Republican, a fact that squeezed him into the minority of the three-person board, he was among the Republicans for whom I’d vote.

And why not?

I knew him and, while bemused by some of his phony bologna act that comes with the territory, he was a decent person who appeared regularly on my cable access talk show “Behind The Headlines.”

When I lost my gig at The Herald, he was one of the first – if not the first – person to reach out with the claim to let him know if I needed anything.

Now, he is back in the limelight, big-time, as he is representing the entity who recently dared to call himself your president (not mine) the last four years.

To be specific, Castor is defending “it” on impeachment for inciting a riot of Neanderthals who support him if shot someone in Times Square.

In short, he has signed on to defend the indefensible.

In terms of selling off your soul, this is like doing so at a flea market.

I used to say I know many local Republicans, and that I voted for some, like Castor.

There were times when my ticket was split, or even went into the red, and he’d be the reason.

I wouldn’t say we were friends, but we were friendly enough to be on a first-name basis.

And, man, I couldn’t be more ashamed.

Back From The Front Lines

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Trench Warfare

By GORDON GLANTZ

GORDONVILLE – Are we embroiled in a civil war? Not only is the answer to that question an affirmative, a full-throated “Hell, yeah,” but I have been on the front lines since the earliest days.

I’m talking about before we knew this war was even a war.

I’m talking about when Tea Party and militia memberships exploded before Barack Obama could even put two feet into the Oval Office.

Their thinly veiled battle cry: We want our country back.

Our response: What does that mean, exactly?

We knew darn well what it meant, but it was worth asking the rhetorical question to see them do to their little chicken dances around the topic — although I did get straight answers at enough backyard barbecues and backroom meetings that it was clear what it was all about.

Enough of us realized the power of the moment, not only when Obama was elected for his first term but reaffirmed a second.

Not bad when a third of the country thinks you are a Muslim born in Kenya.

And it was about race — about race when people on the other side of the fence talked about how their descendants would have been rolling over in their grades.

Hit fast-forward and they had their champ in a chump that calls himself the current president.

Too old and feeble to take it to the streets, I do what I do best and try to right wrongs by writing about it.

That’s in columns, songs, attempts at coherent give and take on social media and with blogs such as this.

The other day, I found myself sparring with followers of the so-called president, people who like to make their point by writing in ALL CAPS or ending a rambling (usually punctuated with hideous grammar) with an LOL or “ha ha.”

I have gone through stretches of just ignoring it, or laying low, like on my spy mission on a Facebook page that sent me an invite that I accept and now monitor for its hate speech.

Other times, though, it’s either enduring the pain of banging my head against the wall or engaging them.

So I engaged.

And I did so well that I decided to blogify it — i.e. turn it into a blog.

Here are some highlights, as I believe letting out my pent-up stress and frustration of a flooded basement and Sofia’s travel softball tryouts led to me landing some serious 1-2 combinations.

It all started with a post about how their president (not mine) could not and should be blamed for COVID-19.

To that I replied: “I know you people like to hang your hats on ‘he didn’t invent the virus,’ but that’s silly. And not the point. Leaders, good leaders, are proactive and not reactive. Politics should not enter into the equation when there is an existential threat to everyone.”

And he knew of the threat long before it affected those he was elected – with the help of Putin and the electoral college – to serve and protect.

I continued: “That’s why you have these people called scientists. The smartest person in the room is the one who is smart enough to realize they aren’t the smartest in the room on every topic. He is a barely functional idiot with esteem issues. He was warned of this virus way before it hit our shores, and no real measures were taken. He just thought he could take that thing that passes for a head and bury it in the sand.”

Why? To me, it is simple. Their president has a “brain” that is so wired toward the economy that he sees nothing else. He was too worried about the market, etc. What happens? By delaying a proactive response, and barely being reactive, the economy tanked even worse. The whole country should have shut down for two months in February, with everyone getting stimulus checks like they got anyway 6-8 weeks later anyway.

Facebookfight

COVID-19 would have been contained, less people would have died and the economy would have had a foundation to be built upon. That’s what a real leader would have done. He didn’t ask for the disease, but we ask for leadership in response to it.

“We got a misleader full of shit,” I wrote. “Any questions? LOL?”

But then, right on cue, another mental midget from his parents’ basement chimed in, saying the odds of dying from COVID-19 are the same as getting killed while crossing the street.

Sounded good, and probably does on stools in bars where the Jack Daniels flows into shot glasses and Confederate flags adorn the walls alongside Elk heads.

The problem is there are these things called facts. There are around 6,000 pedestrian deaths per year in the US. There have been 159,000 — and counting — COVID-19 deaths.

I got the predictable concession than Obama is more articulate but was still “an asshole.” When I asked what gave him “asshole” status, the critics turned to crickets.

But even as we drifted away from the topic, I threw a grenade that landed right into that foxhole, going right after the “articulate but” argument.

Obama is articulate because he is well-educated, I explained. Their president (not mine) was born with a silver spoon up his orange ass and went to all the best boarding/military schools (and if his niece is to be believed, it was because his mother rejected him and/or he was as incurably incorrigible as he is now).

He then went to the Wharton School at Penn (allegedly, since no one saw him there). There is zero reason — with that background — to talk like a buffoon, other than that he is mentally deranged and it’s the best he can do.

I think he is mentally deranged, and it’s the best he can do.

If you voted, and still support that, what does it say about you?

I added: “It must be nice to either use a fake news narrative or say he was ‘just kidding’ all the time. The reality, whether ‘yews’ want to admit it or not, is that he was elected because of — not in spite of — the mainstream media giving him free advertising.”

There was one guy in the fray who seemed semi-literate and tolerable, if only because he didn’t go to low blows right away. He went on a long and winding spiel about the Black Lives Matter movement and how the environment now is one filled with reverse racism.

I didn’t want to make that descent into the rabbit hole with him that there really is no such thing as reverse racism, since a majority does not face prejudice in a systemic way, but I didn’t go there.

Instead, since he seemed to have an IQ at least in the average range – 90 to 110 – I decided to engage, knowing I was at least dealing with a Border Collie.

Here is what I said, verbatim: “I’m not going to say you don’t make some valid points, because you do — at least in the abstract. It’s a complete mess right now. How did we descend into this state of madness — a pandemic that should have been contained better with better planning and a civil war, sparked by class warfare, at the same time? Look to the White House. You elect someone unfit for the job, who thrives of division for his own ends, this is bound to happen. I dread to think what’s next if he gets another four years. We should have known better during his campaign, with the hate being spewed to get votes (and openly inviting foreign interference). But don’t forget, by definition, he was never a popular president. He didn’t win the popular vote.”

Still, they remain incredulous as to why we on the left – people of color, in particular – don’t see the light when their version of the light is nothing but darkness.

Think about it. These nitwits still have to understand that black people loved the Clintons. Their president (not mine) was so outright disrespectful to Hillary during the campaign, with the “lock her up” chants, that it was a turnoff right there.

How is someone vowing to undo everything Obama did, good or bad, going to ease racial discord?  How is leading the birther movement going to just go away?

Haters Gonna Hate

And urban communities are torn apart by gun violence, and no one really gives a shit. Leaders from those communities, more than any, have been crying out for gun control legislation for years.

The so-called president is absolutely opposed to even the smallest of gun control measures.

The backdrop was right for #blacklivesmatter. George Floyd was the straw that broke the camel’s back as much as the knee that broke his windpipe. When you think about Colin Kaepernick, he was taking a knee against police brutality years ago — way before the Floyd incident.

I added: “Look at how your president (not mine) spoke about that? If calling it reverse racism helps you sleep better at night, go for it. I just call it the chickens coming home to roost. He asked for it, he got it.”

The reality is that the so-called president’s moment to win over a lot of us — myself included — was early on, in the wake of Charlottesville, and he pussyfooted around it with the likes of hater Steve Bannon whispering in his ear. Then there was the clearly racist mishandling of Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria.  There was no walking it back from there.

And here we are.

Which is brings us back to the point of the pointless post, about us mean Snowflakes unfairly blaming COVID-19 on their hero. No, he didn’t create the disease, but he mishandled it when he had advance knowledge of it.

An analogy would be that it’s like a small town not taking cover when there is a tornado warning. The town officials didn’t create the tornado, but not bracing for it when it’s in the forecast makes the death and destruction worse.

If you are the mayor of the little town that thinks they can pray away a tornado, your ass should be grass.

Same rules apply with a pandemic.

I’d end this with a LOL, but it’s really not a laughing matter.

It never was, going way to back to when the seed to this civil war were planted, and never will be.

KaepReb

 

Flag on the Field

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KaepReb

By GORDON GLANTZ

GORDONVILLE –  I wouldn’t do that if you paid me a million dollars.

Who among us hasn’t used that saying?

Truth is, there is not much most of us wouldn’t do – short of something hideous and sadistic – for that kind of a payday.

But I can name two acts that my conscience would never allow.

One is to wave the Confederate flag, that of the side of the traitors, either proudly or to make some sort of a pointless point.

The other would be to take a knee during the national anthem — even though I strongly believe Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land” has been, and remains, a better long-term fit, but I won’t go there (even though I just did).

The only difference is that I can understand, in the abstract, why the latter act (like the black power fist, sitting in or the flashing the peace sign) – all public displays of a peaceful protest – would spur one with a different life experience than mine to feel compelled.

None of those are hate speech.

The Confederate flag, well, that’s another story.

The two bloodiest wars for Americans, with more than one million casualties (deaths and wounded) each were the Civil War and World War II.

If you don’t believe me, look it up. I’ll wait.

You back? OK.

It goes way beyond that, though.

It was how they died. A lot of the weaponry was no different than what was used in World War I, and a lot of the battles were fought more up close and personal.

Many of the deaths were slow and painful, coming via infection after limbs were sawed off when wounds refused to heal.

Then, there was the psychological toll, one that we are still calculating in fits and starts.

In some cases, the Civil War pitted brother versus brother. In many more, it was cousin versus cousin.

There were – and still are – many ways to understand what the Confederacy was fighting for, as they will tell you it was a way of life that someone else was telling them not to live and for states’ rights.

But let’s not talk falsely now. The hour is getting late (Dylan reference).

The way of life, the states’ rights yarn, was about one thing: Slavery.

And the slaves were black, brought here in steerage from Africa for decades.

The prime source of income for the South (i.e. Confederacy) was cotton, and the slaves bled their figures raw picking cotton for, well, nothing. They were slaves. Their families were separated, sometimes when children were less than five, or they never existed as family units as all.

It would be unfair to say they were second-class citizens, as they weren’t citizens at all.

Up North, even as they also reaped the economic reward of the cotton trade, this whole centuries-old act wore so thin that a brutal and bloody war seemed inevitable.

And so it was.

I’m not sure why, in 2020, there would be any other need to display – out in the open and proudly – the Confederate flag than to pledge allegiance to racism.

I’ve been told it’s more about the right to do it, if they want, but that falls directly under the definition of prattle.

Often waved alongside that of the Swastika flag of World War II enemy Nazi Germany, which makes even less sense (as if that were even possible), we see it.

We often see the “Don’t Tread On Me” flag, which has meant many things to many different people since the 18th century. At present, it seems to be where patriotism flows into jingoism, but not as offensive to all-out flags of hate speech – at least not yet.

It doesn’t need to be.

I was startled – and aghast – in the summer of 2016, when we took a Pennsylvania road trip.

The first stop was Gettysburg, where the seminal battle of the Civil War was fought on July 1-3 in 1863.

There were some Confederate flags there – whether or T-shirts, bumper stickers, paper weights, mugs etc. – for sale (especially on the outskirts of town). I guess that could be expected, while not condoned.

As we drove through the rest of Pennsylvania, though, it got a bit strange. Weaving through some small towns on the way to our other destinations (Johnstown, Pittsburgh, the stupid place where the ground hog comes out once a year, etc.), I continued to see plenty of Confederate flags — from porches, pickup trucks and tattoos.

So many, in fact, that I had to remind a much younger Sofia – and myself – that we were, still above the Mason-Dixon Line.

It was a sign – or flag – of the times.

The times of doom.

A certain entity – an entity I will neither refer to as a “man” or a “person” – was mounting what was a controversially successful bid for The White Horse, and this so-called “human” was running plays out of Hitler’s playbook by throwing chum to a staunch base fed up with a black (biracial, actually) president for two terms.

Following a route that their GPS systems first took them, which was to join Tea Parties, they made another sharp right and let their patriotism crash into a wall of jingoism.

The saying, “Make America Great Again,” was too hard – on either side – to ignore.

Against this backdrop, in the summer of 2016, Colin Kaepernick – then the quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers – didn’t stand for the national anthem of a preseason game.

When asked about it, he told reporters it was in protest of how blacks were treated in the United States.

After some backlash about disrespecting veterans, which seemed a bit off-point, he began to kneel instead of sit on the bench and stare into space (poor optics, if nothing else).

Players around the league soon joined, giving the presumptive Republican candidate more red meat.

To this day, while I’m with Kaepernick on both his right to peacefully protest and the basics of his cause of racial injustice, I’m not 100 percent convinced the whole thing wasn’t a tantrum because he was bumped to No. 2 on the depth chart behind a white quarterback.

He didn’t help himself during the whole controversy by wearing socks with cartoon pigs depicted as police officers to practice (more bad optics), and it should be noted that he is biologically biracial and was raised in an upper middle-class adoptive family.

One – either a person of color who has a had it tougher or a white person from the right trying to drive a truck through his argument — could successfully ask: “What does he know about it?”

However, President Obama was also biracial and raised by his white grandparents outside the ghetto walls. That didn’t stop the Confederate flag-waving hate machine – including a birther movement wondering if he was a Muslim and not a Christian – from churning its wheels.

That didn’t stop the current person who calls himself your president (not mine) to exploit it all to his advantage  (including tirades against Kaepernick, who hasn’t played in three years and probably never will again, and other players who exercised their right of free speech and supported him”.

Would I personally kneel? No. Not for a million dollars. But it is interesting to note that those most critical of him – and others that your president (not mine) demanded be “fired” – condone, at least on some level,  are the same who take no issue with displaying the Confederate flag.

That’s different, they say.

It’s free speech.

Standards, anyone?

Once you got two, you got none.

Kind of like flags.

 

 

Mock Draft 3.0: Reality Check

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Pederson Roseman

By GORDON GLANTZ

GORDONVILLE – It’s easy to sit here and write all about who I would take in the NFL Draft – which begins next Thursday night (first round), then Friday (second and third rounds) and concludes Saturday (Rounds 4-7).

It’s equally easier to give the people – that’s all of “yews” – what they want as well.

But, if history as taught us anything, it is that de facto GM Howie Roseman and Co. are going to do what they are going to do without our input. It is likely to involve names we didn’t even kick around all this time in quarantine, while not even following the same thought process in terms of addressing needs.

Does that mean the brass is sometimes overthinking? Absolutely. Does it also mean we have no clue what is going on behind closed doors, in terms of which veteran players could be on the move or could be dealing with injury issues not known to the public? Hell, yeah. We also don’t know which players have caught their eye – at the combine and on film.

While my Mock Draft 1.0 featured an unrealistic overflow of receivers, specifically to quiet those of “yews” worried about that need, Mock Draft 2.0 had some trade scenarios that are impossible to predict. Now, for Mock Draft 3.0, it’s going to be a projection of what they very well may do that leaves us scratching our heads – at least until we get the “spin control” afterward.

Here we go:

Round 1 (Pick 21): Cesar Ruiz, C-G, Michigan, 6-3, 315

The Spin: It’s year to year with Jason Kelce, and center has become crucial to the offense because of his play. Ruiz is the best center prospect to come out in years, so they will say, so it’s best to grab him now and let him learn behind the All-Pro. How will Kelce take this? I don’t know. He might be offended, but he could also be relieved, as he has hinted at retirement for a while now. Also, it’s not like Isaac Seumalo is a burgeoning All-Pro at left guard. Ruiz could probably take that job and push Seumalo into the more comfortable role of a versatile sixth lineman. Moreover, the outcry over not taking a receiver – “we looked at it but the asking price was too high,” Roseman will say – will be mitigated by feel-good stories about Ruiz (pictured below) being a Camden native who always dreamed of playing for the Eagles.\

Ruiz3

Round 2 (Pick 53): Curtis Weaver, Edge, Boise State, 6-3, 265

The Spin: Like Kelce, Brandon Graham isn’t getting any younger. Meanwhile, the long-term impact of recent DE picks – Derrick Barnett, Josh Sweat and Shareef Miller — remains uncertain. There will likely still be enticing receivers on the board, but they will say this is the guy they wanted all along and that they even considered him in the first round (eye roll). And, really, drafting an edge player is a springtime rite of passage going back to when Roseman went on coffee runs. May as well get it over with, right? Weaver (pictured below) may never be an every down player, but he has pass rushing specialist written all over him, as he had 13.5 of his 34 career sacks just last season.

Weaver3

Round 3 (Pick 103): Trey Adams, OL, Washington, 6-8, 306

The Spin: Those second-tier receivers that were still there? Guess what? They were all gone, with 10 picks to spare, with pick 103 came around. They stayed true to their board here, saying the game is won upfront and that you can’t have enough offensive linemen. Even though Adams is a solid prospect with upside, this will be the head-scratcher – at least on the surface. The reality, though, is that the tackle position is as rich in talent this year as wide receiver. It’s just not as glamorous. In another year, this starter of 45 straight games at left tackle would be a Top 50-75 pick. Because he has some serious injuries, which stoically battled through, he fell to the Eagles. Adams (pictured below) could be viewed as a hedge against last year’s first-rounder, Andre Dillard, or a top-end third tackle who could use a good 15-20 pounds on his frame and some technical work.

Adams2

Round 4 (Pick 127):  Lynn Bowden, WR, Kentucky, 6-1, 200

The Spin: They are going say they are lucky this under-the-radar guy fell to them, and it won’t be a lie. As is the case with Adams in the third round, depth at the position pushed Bowden into the Eagles’ lap. Bowden (pictured below) was forced to play quarterback for the depleted Wildcats, a selfless move which showed a lot of character. While going 6-2 as a starter under center, it also hurt his draft stock a bit by stunting his growth into being a Day 2 pick as a receiver. Still, Bowden has good speed (4.5ish), reliable hands and some return game skills. For the Eagles, assuming that DeSean Jackson and Alshon Jeffery are back health – and that Greg Ward picks up where he left off in the slot (while J.J. Arcega Whiteside theoretically evolves) – they can let a guy like Bowden be a bit of a wildcard.

Better Bowden

Round 4 (Pick 145): Shaquille Quarterman, ILB, Miami (Fla.), 6-0, 240

The Spin: Position of need (although they won’t admit that), and will be portrayed as an excellent value pick – even though this is just about where Quarterman (pictured below) is slotted by most so-called experts. Saved his best for last, earning All-ACC honors with 51 of 107 tackles being of the solo variety. Looks the part of a NFL inside linebacker, but the fear is that he may miss as many plays as he makes, which is a no-no that get you benched fast.

ShaquilleQuarterman_2017_13

Round 4 (Pick 146): Devin Duvernay, WR, Texas, 5-11, 210

The Spin: They still got two receivers who were stellar college players while staying true to their board and addressing needs on Days 1 and 2. Duvernay (pictured below) had almost 1,400 receiving yards last season, and he runs a 4.4 40. Why, then, did he last this long? Although he could take the top of a defense in college, he is projected as just a one-trick pony — a slot receiver — in the big leagues. That doesn’t bode well for Ward’s long-term future, but it bolsters the overall depth in the stable for now. Duvernay, a sprint champion in high school, also has some return game experience.

Duvernay

Round 5 (Pick 170): James Morgan, QB, Florida International, 6-4, 225

The Spin: With the long-term future of backup quarterback uncertain beyond this year (Nate Sudfeld has a one-year deal and there seems to be no real interest on either side to make the relationship last beyond that), the door is open for another to be developed alongside of – or instead of – practice squad holdover Kyle Lauletta. Morgan (pictured below) had some impressive workouts before the lockouts, and he may have put himself into the draft – as opposed to being a priority UDFA – as a result. While the upside is there, as he can make the requisite throws, it is still raw.

James Morgan

Round 6 (Pick 190): Joshua Kelley, RB, UCLA, 5-11, 210

The Spin: Kelley (pictured below) was a productive workhorse in college, not only for the Bruins, but at FBS level at Cal Davis before transferring.  This may have worked against him as a prospect, as NFL teams like running backs with less tread on their tires and a little bit more mystique. His highlight reel won’t wow anyone on YouTube, but Kelley’s style may translate better than scat backs who won’t be able to run away from anyone in the pros much anyway. While not really a dynamic runner, his meat-and-potatoes style – one that produced games like the one he had against rival USC (40 carries, 289 yards) – might make him a nice short-yardage fit with Miles Sanders as the go-to back and Boston Scott and the change-of-pace back. In addition to his production – two 1,000-yard seniors at UCLA – he has some kick return experience.

Kelley

Summary: The first question will be about safety, and Roseman will say there were some they liked, but they stayed true to their board. And, with that, there will be the announcement that Avonte Maddox will get reps at safety. He will also tout the fact that he signed athletic freak Marc Antoine-Dequoy (pictured below) of Montreal (not a misprint), who is sure to become a folk hero (look at his hair) and could actually stick as a special teams guy while learning to play safety. While I fully expect more picks to be found, via trade, maybe by dumping one of the back-to-back picks at the end of the fourth round for two later on, most boxes were checked off. “Yews” will be a bit ticked off that, in a year of stud wideouts, we came away with guys who don’t float many boats. Time will tell on that one, as receiver remains one of the most difficult positions to project in the last decade. It very well could be that a Day 3 receiver, or someone signed after the draft, matches or exceeds the play of a big-name guy from a big-time program anyway. What will be unspoken – and unasked by the press hoard – is that they successfully navigated around taking a Temple player for yet another year.

MAM

 

 

All-Time Team Mulligan: Special Teams

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Picard

By GORDON GLANTZ

GORDONVILLE – If you want to win in the National Football League, there are many things you need a lot to go right – a perfect storm.

Mixed in, you need your need your special teams to be special. For our Philadelphia Eagles, we have surely seen our share of ups and downs in this category, but some real standouts over the years.

The 75th Anniversary Team, as voted on by the fans in 2008, was somewhat predictable. The years have passed, a Super Bowl was won and the time has come to set the record straight.

I do this at great personal risk, but let the bullets fly:

Kick Returner

75th Team: Tim Brown

Mulligan Team: Tim Brown

Say What?: Before my time, but I listen to my elders, and they all confirm he was Brian Westbrook before there was Brian Westbrook. They also say his sudden retirement in 1967 (returning briefly to win a second championship with the Baltimore Colts in 1968) to be a B-movie star helped keep the Birds from taking flight. When I started following the team in the early 1970s, he was still talked about lovingly and longingly. I guess when you return two kickoffs for touchdowns in one game, like he did against Dallas in 1966, your place in franchise folklore is cemented. His all-purpose skills sent him to three Pro Bowls. Ironically, Brown began his career out of Ball State with the Green Bay Packers, playing one game in 1959 before helping to beat the Packers in the 1960 championship game.

Timmy Brown

Punt Returner

75th Team: Brian Westbrook

Mulligan Team: Darren Sproles

Say What?: Me? Pick a guy I have complained about, Sproles, over one of my all-time favorite Birds in Westbrook. Yep. Cue the theme from the “Twilight Zone.” My issue with Sproles was that he shouldn’t have been handed a roster spot the last two years, and then force-fed into the offense with what seemed like mandatory touches to push him up the NFL’s all-purpose yardage list. It seemed as if the Eagles were trying to hang on to him long enough that, as a possible Hall of Famer, he would go in as an Eagle. That goal was achieved, even at the expense of the product on the field. Either it was that nefarious of a plot, or they missed the memo that they won the Super Bowl without him – and left tackle Jason Peters, who was seemingly kept around for the same reasons – on the field (Peters missed the second half of the year while Sproles missed almost the whole thing). However, prior to that season the sun, Sproles did something he did not do with his two other employers – the Chargers and the Saints – by being selected to the Pro Bowl three consecutive years – 2014-16 — as the return specialist. He was also a two-time All-Pro (2015-16). Since he had it practically written into his contract that he didn’t want to return kicks, ironically after setting up the game-winning points to beat the Eagles with a kick return in the playoffs the season prior to his arrival here, these accolades were based on what he had done as a punt returner. Before he was a shell of himself the last years, Sproles was a threat on every punt – and smart about when to call for a fair catch and when to let a punt bounce (skills that also eroded). Westbrook was surely the popular choice in 2008, as his punt return late in a game in one of the Miracle of the Meadowlands sequels was fresh in a lot of minds. However, as he became more a part of the offense, the need was less. DeSean Jackson, whose walkoff punt return in the Meadowland remains etched in our souls, went to a Pro Bowl as returner and receiver that same season (2010) At the time, they said he was the first Eagles punt returner to be so honored, which was incorrect. Wally Henry, unfortunately remembered for two bad fumbles in a home playoff game in 1981, was not only a Pro Bowl choice in 1979, but actually took one to the house in Honolulu.

Sproles

Kicker

75th Team: David Akers                                                              

Mulligan Team: David Akers

Say What?: Really hard not to go with Akers, the franchise’s all-time leading scorer, even though he was not as money in the clutch as current kicker Jake Elliott has been – so far. He was selected to six Bowls, five of which were as an Eagle. He was first- or second-team All-Pro six times, five of which were as an Eagle. The Eagles have had some other Pro Bowl kickers – Bobby Walston, Sam Baker and Cody Parkey of double-doink infamy. They have had memorable ones with half a foot, recent coronavirus victim Tom Dempsey, and two that kicked barefoot (Tony Franklin, Paul McFadden). They have also had some so hideous – Happy Feller, Horst Muhlmann, etc. — that having had Akers, and Elliott now, should make us all grateful.

David Akers

Punter

75th Team: Sean Landeta                                                                

Mulligan Team: King Hill

Say What?: I know, I know … Landeta is considered, possibly, the second best punter of all time behind Ray Guy. He is the punter, and rightfully so, on both the 1980s and 1990s All-Decade teams. However, of his 22 seasons in the league, five of them – at the tail end of his career – were spent here. He was good, maybe even the best we had seen here, but his years of greatness were behind him. Once discounted for my Mulligan here, the search for a replacement was on. Donnie Jones, of the Super Bowl team, is in a similar situation. Current punter, Cameron Johnston, has a chance to maybe be the best. Going back into recent history, there were some others – Max Runager, John Teltschick, Tom Hutton — who were OK, but not OK enough to be keep beyond a few years. That put me back in time, and the best I could do to at least hold a place for Johnston was Hill. Much hyped coming out of Rice, Hill never lived up to expectations as a quarterback. He landed here as a backup in 1961 and made himself useful also serving a punter for most of the decade. His average was just under 43 yards per punt, and he never had one blocked. For now, we’ll go with it.

King Hill

Specialist

75th Team: Vince Papale                                                      

Mulligan Team: Bob Picard

Say What?: If I am going to remain unpopular, let me do it in style. I’m accused of heresy for my All-Time Defense, so why not add to the charges. I plead guilty. Unlike above, there is no need to go back in time and look at numbers. A special teamer going to the Pro Bowl, and being named All-Pro, is a 21st century thing. No one kept track of special teams tackles in the bad old days – at least not on the official docket. I have been watching the Eagles since my first game at Franklin Field at 1970. There have been many outstanding special teams players, even on bad teams, and Papale is among them. Others include the likes of Ike Reese, who went to the Pro Bowl as a special teams choice, and three who got Super Bowl rings – Chris Maragos, Bryan Braman and Mack Hollins. However, two stood out to me the most, and neither had a movie made about them. They were Colt Anderson, who was on a Pro Bowl – possibly All-Pro – trajectory when he tore his ACL in the 9th game of the 2011 season (he joined the team in 2010). He never played here again, and was out of the league a few years later. That leaves Picard, who was Papale before there was Papale (ironically wearing No. 82 while Papale wore No. 83). For three seasons here before being selected in the expansion draft by the Seattle Seahawks, who were obviously aware of his special teams acumen (despite zero career catches as a receiver). The opening for someone like Picard set the stage for Papale, but Picard actually set the mold. At Veterans Stadium in the early 1970s, with little else to cheer for, he became a bit of a folk hero with homemade signs hung from the rafters. One some teams not known for hustle, Picard often had mud and blood on his body and uniform. Wrote a scribe at the time: “Of all the Philadelphia Eagles, the easiest one to find in the locker room is Bobby Picard. He’s the one covered with all the blood. Number 82 in your program, but No. 1 in the kamikaze ranks. The guy who looks like a walking transfusion.”

Bob Picard

Long Snapper

75th Team: N/A                                                 

Mulligan Team: Rick Lovato

Say What?: I have been watching the game long enough that it was almost always the backup center serving as the long snapper. For a while, teams would turn to the third tight ends – like Mike Bartrum in the Andy Reid era – but it was become so specialized that guys whose athletic ability wouldn’t even otherwise put them on a roster, are carried for this highly specialized task. You don’t really notice the long snapper until there is a bad one. Never been a real concern here over the years, with the likes of Bartrum and Jon Dorenbos (two Pro Bowls as an Eagle), but it is Lovato who has triggered some of the most important long snaps in team history with aplomb. A pleasant surprise on the coverge units, with some solo tackles, he was also selected to the Pro Bowl this year.

Lovato

Holder

75th Team: N/A                                                              

Mulligan Team: Bill Bradley

Say What?: Am I getting weird here? Yeah, maybe a bit. With as much of a pathway to the all-time defense at safety as Bernie Sanders to the Democratic party’s presidential nomination, I feel like there is a place somewhere for my first favorite Eagle. Bradley, a college quarterback, was a bright spot on some hideous Eagles teams. A free safety in the NFL, he twice led the league in interceptions with 11 in 1971 and nine the following year. He went to three Pro Bowls (1971, 72 and 73) and was an All-Pro in 1971-72. What is also of note is that Bradley was called upon to punt, return punts and hold on placekicks (as he was likely doing here when the Eagles probably didn’t have enough, or too many, men on the field). I wanted to find him a place to honor his overshadowed service, so here he is.

Bill Bradley

 

 

All-Time Team Mulligan: The Offense

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Pihos

By GORDON GLANTZ

GORDONVILLE — His name was Wade Key.

And don’t be asking me who that is, please.

He played for the Eagles from 1970 to 1978 – with his career taking a uptick after the hiring of Dick Vermeil in 1976, as Key started 39 of 40 games and appeared in a grand total of 121 games as an offensive lineman before being waved before the 1980 season that would culminate with a 27-10 thud against the Oakland Raiders in Super Bowl XV.

I must have thought enough of No. 72 to seek out his autograph during an annual excursion to training camp to Widener University, as I’m starring at it right now – as it shares a place on the same sheet of paper as Vince Papale’s John Hancock.

When the axe fell, Key was the longest-tenured Bird on the team.

He should have a rightful place in team history, with the fanfare it does – or does not – deserve.

But, through no fault of his own, that is not the case.

After the 2007 season, despite never having appeared in a Pro Bowl, Key was elected as a starting guard on the Eagles’ all-time 75th anniversary team.

Technically, he was the left guard, and maybe that threw off the more than 600,000 voters, but my vote would be for the voters to have taken IQ and sobriety tests first.

Hard to say how that happened, other than that this is what happens when people are allowed to vote before having all the facts and figures laid out before them.

On the surface, given the fact that Philly loves underdogs almost as much as soft pretzels with mustard, the votes for Key make some sense.

But, as one weaned in the Wade Key era (my semi-arthritic fingers froze just typing that), I don’t recall him ever being a beloved figure. Never once saw a No. 72 jersey at Franklin Field or the Vet – let alone The Linc.

Ever.

Drafted in a round in a round (13th) that no longer exists (it went from 17 to 12 to seven) and having played at a college, Southwest Texas State University, that doesn’t even go by the same name (it’s now just Texas State), Key was cut as a rookie in 1969.

He played for the famed Pottstown Firebirds that won the Atlantic Coast Football League title, and came back to the nest to spend time on what was then called the taxi squad (more or less since resurrected as what we now know as the practice squad) before moving into the lineup as the starting left tackle on teams from 1970-72 that won a grand total of 11 games in three seasons before moving inside to guard.

Somewhat undersized – a college tight end, he was listed at 6-5 and 245 pounds – Key played through a plethora of injuries and had a reputation of coming back, whether it helped or hindered the team, sooner than projected.

Wade Key2

Drafted in a round in a round (13th) that no longer exists (it went from 17 to 12 to seven) and having played at a college, Southwest Texas State University, that doesn’t even go by the same name (it’s now just Texas State), Key was cut as a rookie in 1969,

He played for the famed Pottstown Firebirds that won the Atlantic Coast Football League title, and came back to the nest to spend time on what was then called the taxi squad (more or less since resurrected as what we now know as the practice squad) before moving into the lineup as the starting left tackle on teams from 1970-72 that won a grand total of 11 games in three seasons before moving inside to guard.

Somewhat undersized – a college tight end, he was listed at 6-5 and 245 pounds – Key played through a plethora of injuries and had a reputation of coming back, whether it helped or hindered the team, sooner than projected.

Admirable, but … not quite worthy of all-time anything status.

From 1979 to 2007, there had been plenty of guards – including the starters in Super Bowls XV (Woody Peoples and Petey Perot) and XXXIX (Artis Hicks and Jermane Mayberry, who was an All-Pro in 2002 and was, drum roll, the left guard) – more distinguished.

And from the franchise’s inception to Key’s arrival, there had to be one more worthy, right?

The team did win titles in 1948, 1949 and 1960.

From those 1948 and 1949 teams, for example, there was Bucko Kilroy. A three-time Pro Bowler, the Port Richmond native played at since-defunct Northeast Catholic and Temple and was considered the one of the dirtiest players ever to play the game (back when you got penalized for not putting your hands to the face of an opponent).

How “Philly” can you get, right?

Despite coaching with the Eagles after retiring, Kilroy was a scout from 1965-70 for the Cowboys. To 700-level voters, this is a sin that equates to the Comey memo and Access Hollywood taps all wrapped up into one.

Blame it on memories not going back that far?

Choices such as tight end Pete Pihos (1947-55), center/linebacker Alex Wojciehowicz (1946-50), kick returner Timmy Brown (1960-67) – along with legends like linebacker Chuck Bednarik (1949-62), wide receiver Tommy McDonald (1957-63) and running back Steve Van Buren (1944-51) – suggest that homework was done.

This is all not meant to single out and pick on poor Wade Key. We are not going to blame it on voter fraud, collusion with the Russians or the Electoral College.

He is far from the only curious choice on the 75th anniversary team, leaving us with only one choice.

Let’s just take a Mulligan.

With the Eagles having just won their first title in the Super Bowl era, and with 10 additional seasons now under our belt, we can right the wrongs of the past and heading into this new era of being on top of the world with a new view of the all-time All-Eagles team. For this session, my pupils, we’ll start with the offense:

75th Team                                                                            Mulligan Team

QB – Donovan McNabb                                                 QB – Nick Foles

Say What?:  Well, we have only won one Super Bowl, right. Guess which guy literally threw up on the field and which one was cool as a cucumber, winning MVP? And Foles, in his first stint with the Eagles, has the single greatest QB season in team history on his resume. For an encore to the Super Bowl season, he ignited a fire under the team after Carson Wentz went down and led the Birds to road win in the famed “Double Doink” game in Chicago (and nearly pulled a rabbit out of his hat again the following week in New Orleans).  Barring more injuries to Wentz, this place is just temporary, but we’ll let Foles keep the seat war. He can start a big game for me over McNabb anytime. I’d put the other championship quarterbacks – Tommy Thompson (two titles, 48 and 49, with legal vision in one eye) and 1960 quarterback Norm Van Brocklin ahead of McNabb as well. You could make a case for Ron Jaworski, who also got the Birds to a Super Bowl before throwing three perfect strikes to the opposition.  The Ultimate Weapon, Randall Cunningham, would also be in the conversation, as would 1950’s big arms Bobby Thomason (three Pro Bowls) and Adrian Burk (two Pro Bowls). And no, it didn’t help that McNabb was the one visible ex-Bird who seemed more embittered than elated by the recent championship.

Nick-Foles-2

RB – Steve Van Buren                                                                     RB – Steve Van Buren

Say What?: The fans got this right the first time. I grew up with Wilbert Montgomery, an all-time personal favorite whose replica jersey I wore on Super Bowl Sunday and whose number should rightfully be retired, and there are a litany of other standout backs to have played here, but Van Buren was the best. Period.

FB – Keith Byars                                                                                FB – Keith Byars

Say What?: Like Mayberry, who was drafted in the first round as a tackle before finding a home at guard, Byars had to diversify to find his niche. Really more of a Swiss Army knife than a pure fullback, Byars still gets the slight nod over Tom Woodeshick (1963-71), who ran for more than 3,500 yards and went to one Pro Bowl — at — fullback in 1968.

WR – Harold Carmichael, Tommy McDonald      WR – Harold Carmichael, Mike Quick

Say What?: Tough call here, knocking McDonald out. The franchise has been blessed with plenty of standout receivers over the years, although some (Terrell Owens, Irving Fryar, Cris Carter, etc.) spent most of their careers elsewhere. The reality is that McDonald, though well-liked and having had made a terrific touchdown catch in the 1960 title game, was only here for part of his career. Quick was not blessed with having played on too many winning teams, but he was the best Eagles receiver these eyes have seen since 1970. Put him on the 49ers instead of Jerry Rice, and he’s Jerry Rice. Well, at least John Taylor.

TE – Pete Pihos                                                                                 TE – Pete Pihos

Say What?: Hard to knock what Pihos accomplished in his career, but he better not get too comfortable. Zach Ertz was clutch in the Super Bowl, catching the winning touchdown (and dropping no passes all that season). It shouldn’t be about one game, and it’s not. He holds the league record to receptions in a season for a tight end and was a big reason for the success of both Wentz and Foles, and I’m buying some stock in the future by saying he will go down in history as the greatest tight end in a franchise that has had its share – Pete Retzlaff (5 Pro Bowls), Charle Young (3), Chad Lewis (3) and Keith Jackson (3). And then there’s Brent Celek.

T – Tra Thomas, Jon Runyan                                                 T – Jason Peters, Lane Johnson

Say What?: At the time of the voting, it was hard to argue against Thomas (although the starting tackles in Super Bowl XV, Stan Walters and Jerry Sisemore, were top-notch as well). Runyan was a bit dubious, especially considering that his one Pro Bowl appearance was as a fourth alternate. There could have been a legit case for Bob Brown at left tackle (instead of Thomas). The outspoken Brown’s Hall of Fame career began with the Eagles after being drafted second overall in 1964 and winning Rookie of the Year before being name to Pro Bowls in 1965 and 1966. However, voters who remembered him may have also remember that he demanded a trade after five seasons here. Brown played two seasons with the Rams and played three with the Raiders on a famed line with four other Hall of Famers. Peters, though, is Brown is reverse. He came here from the Bills and cemented his Hall of Fame legacy in Eagle green. Johnson, right now, is considered the best right tackle in the game and, in some circles, the best tackle overall.

G – Wade Key, Shawn Andrews                                     G – Bucko Kilroy, Brandon Brooks

Say What?: Well, you know Key was locked out, right? Andrews could have been an all-time great but his career took a dark turn after being named All-Pro in 2006 and to a pair of Pro Bowls leading up to the voting of the 75th anniversary team. The following training camp, he vanished without a trace, only to send text messages to reporters citing personal issues later revealed to be depression. He spent most of that season, and the following season, out of the lineup (with the Eagles suffered with his brother, Stacy, on the roster). He never played here again, and only played briefly for the rival Giants. Brooks is Andrews in reverse, having overcome anxiety issues to play like a man possessed receive the accompanying postseason accolades. He gets the nod here, slightly, over Evan Mathis. As for Kilroy (pictured below), it’s hard to know where he played on those classic teams of the late 1940s. I studied grainy film of those championship games and it appeared his lined up all over the offensive line at every spot but center. Although he mysteriously had not appeared on the Eagles Wall of Fame, he lands on the all-time team here.

Bucko_Kilroy_-_1948_Bowman

C – Chuck Bednarik                                                                         C – Chuck Bendarik

Say What?: Don’t think this was as easy as it sounds, especially with Concrete Charlie already a lock on the defensive side of the ball. There were plenty of All-Pro and Pro Bowl centers before Jason Kelce, with the most notable being Jim Ringo (three Pro Bowls in the mid-1960s), but it is important to note that Bednarik was named to the 1950s NFL All-Decade Team at center and not linebacker. Case closed … for now.