Author Archives: gordonglantz

A Tour Of Duty

coal-mine-aquaculture

By GORDON GLANTZ

Gordonglantz50@gmail.com

@Managing2Edit

GORDONVILLE – Sofia, well, she says what she means and means what she says.

Even before she could talk, she would find ways to get her message across, whether it was throwing her head back to get attention or making a face and shaking her head no when she didn’t like the spoonful of baby food coming her way.

Every teacher, from preschool to the present, has praised her verbal expression skills and marveled at her vast vocabulary.

Not to brag – as balance, she’s still a klutz who bangs her head on something at least once a day – but this is a recorded fact.

But she’s still a 7-year-old little girl, so she is not yet ready to deliver a summation before the Supreme Court (although her rationale would likely make more sense than some of what is passing for attempts at Constitutional interpretations these days).

Example: She told me yesterday that I’m “banded” – instead of “banned” — from using Facebook, or the computer today (I’m sneaking this in before the princess arises).

I am also trying to break her early from the lazy habit of overusing words like “hate” and “love” and “great.”

“You don’t ‘hate’ this episode of ‘The Waltons,’” I’ll explain, as if I’m Grandpa Walton himself. “You dislike it.”

“You don’t ‘love’ – or ‘totally love’ – a game on the iPad, you really like it a lot,” I’ll tell her. “The movie you just saw wasn’t ‘great,’ but it was ‘good’ or maybe even ‘very good,’”

And so on.

Does it sink in?

I’d like to think so, but who knows?

Sometimes you have to be shown.

And sometimes you have to set an example.

Looking in the mirror, often the hardest viewpoint of the day, I see someone who holds words – and their usage – dear and who is also as guilty as charged for overdoing it for the sake of drama.

For some reason — probably my time as a union “activist,” when I once led a chant of “used to be a gold mine, now it’s a coal mine” with a megaphone — I became prone to coal mine analogies.

It’s not that it’s wrong, off-hand. Many coal miners, past and present, might get a warm-fuzzy being remembered and included.

But there is a fine line between being poignant and cavalier.

When I left what was a figuratively poisonous work environment more than a year back, I told people it was like breathing in fresh air after years working in the coal mines and that it was going to clear up my case of black lung.

Yeah, right, G2.

In researching blank lung for use in a subsequent song, I came to learn that there is no clearing it up.

You get it, you got it.

And you die from it.

Nothing poetic.

I should have known better then, but I continued with the analogies.

But after a recent excursion to the lower Poconos with the family, I think I’ll put that to rest.

And, after touring a real coal mine, Sofia will have learned the same lesson at a more impressionable age.

It was a long way from Disney, which we visited in June, but it hopefully made just as much of an impression.

The mine we visited had not been operational since 1973. It is “safe,” by today’s standards. It was dark inside, but well-lit as compared to when men and boys as young as Sofia went in not knowing if they were coming back out.

Just the ride in a train car left my eyes irritated and my back aching for a few days.

Sofia woke up the next morning with a migraine.

My elderly mother had swollen ankles.

Although Laurie says she unscathed, being from “peasant stock,” I had to remind her that her back hurt as well the next day.

And we were all more than a little chilled from the mine, which is kept at 52 degrees at all times (in contrast to all the homes and offices where people squabble over whether to keep the thermostat at 70 or 72 degrees because someone is “freezing”).

For those who went in every day for how many days their careers lasted, it was a matter of dying slowly – set against the ever-present prospect of dying fast in a disaster — while only earning enough in company scrip to subsist.

“We were expendable assets,” explained our tour guide, who is a coal miner at a small local mine and who came from generations of coal miners.

He said the donkeys in the mines were considered more valuable than the immigrant miners. Why? If something happened to a donkey, it cost the coal barons money to replace the donkey.

It cost them nothing to replace a miner who was killed or severely disabled. If no one else in the family could step up and fill the shoes of the dead, which usually meant a call for the oldest son to quit school and become a “breaker boy,” they gave you 48 hours to grieve before vacating the premises.

We were turned on to the mine tour by the tour guide at the Old Jail – the former Carbon County Jail – in Jim Thorpe, Pa.

It was there, in 1877, that four of the notorious Molly Maguires were hanged at once — with at least one left dangling and suffering for up to 10 minutes because the noose was not applied correctly.

Two more were hanged there, and others across the coal region, during the labor struggle of the late 19th century.

Ironically, we old toured an old Episcopal church in Jim Thorpe, which was founded by one of the town’s collective of millionaires.

This one made his money off the coal boom, as his railroad line transported the coal to the big cities.

The guide at the church, a congenial enough retired math teacher and athletic director at a local high school, spoke about the detailed stained glass windows that were commissioned to be done by artists in Italy by the millionaire’s widow, who sought permission for one of her pet projects from the queen of England.

Meanwhile, if we had Nick Foles stand on the steps of the church and throw a football, it would land at the courthouse where coal miners who struggled to feed their families were hanged in trials that objective legal experts today say were mockeries of justice.

Were some guilty of something? Yes. Were all guilty of everything? No.

Did these “Christians” with money to spare even care, or think twice?

And it hit me that no matter how things change, they still kind of stay the same.

The Irish immigrants of the time were lured to the mines because of the venom they felt – the “No Irish Need Apply” signs in the big cities where they disembarked as huddled masses yearning to breathe free – while what equates to the top one percent of the time twirled their heads over what shade of blue to make the eyes of Jesus in a stained glass window.

Sound familiar?

In the song “The American Land,” Bruce Springsteen wrote and sang(behind an Irish beat): “The hands that build this country are the ones they are always trying to keep out.”

No hyperbole there.

And no more here.

Not if I can help it.

 

 

We Laughed And Cried

Robin Willams

By GORDON GLANTZ

Gordonglantz50@gmail.com

@Managing2Edit

GORDONVILLE — My maternal grandfather – i.e. Poppy – was among an interesting ensemble cast of characters than made up the first act of comedy-drama that is my life.

Born in 1900, it was always easy to mark history by his life. When the stock market crashed in 1929, he was 29. When Pearl Harbor was attacked in 1941, he was 41. When I was born in 1965, he was 65.

In a time when non-WASPs were put on quotas at most colleges of distinction, he rose above the intolerance.

He went to the University of Pennsylvania and Jefferson Medical School, becoming a physician.

He served his country during the back end of World War I and, as a doctor, volunteered to give physicals for the draft board during World War II (he even received a letter of commendation from FDR).

An avid reader, Poppy’s mind was like a steel trap on a variety of subjects. He loved sports, watching game after game on the tube, and music. He played every string instrument created, with the violin being his specialty.

And, like most people, he was a dichotomy.

Many summer mornings in Atlantic City, I would be awakened by the sound of his distinctive laughter. The source of his bemusement was the low-brow humor of the “The Three Stooges.”

At 11 p.m., when most were tuning in the nightly news to see who shot whom or have Jim O’Brien tell us the weather by throwing clouds off his map, Poppy would turn to some UHF channel to catch “The Gong Show.”

Even at a young age, I found zero humor in silliness and slapstick, but this man of more education than the rest of the family put together responded to it.

In the late 1970s, I had already outgrown “Happy Days.” It was the show where the term “jump the shark” originated, and it had done that for me.

I don’t recall Poppy ever watching Fonzie and Co., but he somehow got hooked on one of its spinoffs, “Mork and Mindy.”

It ran from 1978 to 1982 — meaning 13-17 for me and 78-82 for Poppy — and I tried humoring him and watching it, I really did.

But, to be kind, we’ll say it didn’t float my boat.

At that age, I was either watching hockey or playing hockey.

I remember my school mates talking about it, but I tuned them out. I had been there, done that and didn’t want to go back.

So, while that show introduced many of my generation to its star, Robin Williams, I was off to a late and shaky start with the guy playing Mork.

I think that aversion, and lack of girls wanting to go the movies with me anyway, kept me away from his first major role in “The World According to Garp.”

By 1984, when Poppy was 84, the CE (Cute Era) had commenced for me. Girls would go the movies with me and I caught “Moscow On The Hudson” on a date. The girl said Williams kind of reminded her of me, which I wasn’t sure how to take at the time. It may have had something to do with him being so hairy, as I didn’t speak with a Russian accent.

Beyond that assessment, which I have since come to realize was a major compliment – even if not intended – I was coming around.

He made his share of middling movies in the 1980s, but two more – “Good Morning, Vietnam” (1987) and “Dead Poets Society” (1989) – cemented him in Gordonville as a talent who can make you both laugh and cry with nuanced facial expressions or gestures.

He was the ultimate sad clown of my generation, matching Charlie Chaplin of Poppy’s era, but there was a more daring side.

He had an edge to his game.

I also caught some of his HBO specials and, in addition to laughing at humor that would not have been Poppy’s style, appreciated the all-important underlying social commentary.

In 1997, the year that he had a small part in Woody Allen’s “Deconstructing Harry,” Williams stepped to the plate as Sean Maguire, Will Hunting’s therapist, in “Good Will Hunting.”

I consider that movie a modern classic, one that should be required viewing for young adult males looking to find their place in the world they are about to enter. It would have been a good movie without Williams, but it was his spin on the role — often improvising on the script of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon – that made it great (and I rarely use that overused word).

He won an Oscar for best supporting actor.

And won my heart by touching my soul.

Poppy left us three years earlier, and likely would not have believed that it was Mork from wherever up on the big screen.

He also would have had a hard time understanding that Williams, at age 63, succumbed to depression and took his own life (We are now hearing that a recent diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease may have factored in.).

It is hard for all us to believe, but we are not in his shoes. All that made Williams who he was to the world is what proved to be what haunted him. He felt too deeply. He felt a need to laugh and cry at one time, perhaps not knowing which emotion would win out, and was able to get us to do it as well.

All we can do now is enjoy the body of work – whether it is “Mork and Mindy” or some of my personal favorites (“What Dreams May Come” and “The Fisher King”) or one of the new movies that will be released posthumously – that he leaves behind.

All of it is not for all us, but most of it is for most of us.

And instead of pounding our judge’s gavels about how his life ended, let’s focus on how he brought life to his alter egos.

If I could talk to him now, I would thank him for making Poppy laugh through his grief during the years when my beloved grandmother — and Sofia’s namesake — died suddenly of stroke.

And I would steal a line from my favorite Robin Williams role and say: “It’s not your fault.”

If I had to repeat it, like he did to Will Hunting, I would.

And if he needed a hug, I’d give him one.

 

 

 

 

 

From A Whisper To A Scream

Foles

By GORDON GLANTZ

Gordonglantz50@gmail.com

@Managing2Edit

GORDONVILLE — Can we be real, for just a second?

Please?

I know Eagles Nation has plenty of well-meaning, albeit impetuous, dues-paying members who could play Jimmy Whispers in a remake of “A Bronx Tale.”

And what they would be whispering after the much-anticipated first preseason game – a 34-28 loss to the Chicago Bears, who rattled off 17 straight points to erase an 11-point deficit – is that Mark Sanchez out-played incumbent Nick Foles and maybe should start.

That was in the dark of night, an in-the-moment reaction.

In the light of day, such whispers should be made audible enough that we can all share a laugh.

For now, we will chalk up Nick Foles’ pair of interceptions against the Bears – on two poorly thrown balls that may or may not have been the result of less-than-familiar receivers running the wrong route – to a fluke outing.

Before the first pick, Foles stepped up into the pocket and threw a perfect strike to Brent Celek. That all-important first down was under their belts. They could set up shop at midfield and run another play without giving the Bears a chance to get set.

But, wait, this is not only preseason, but the first game of preseason.

That means it is the NFL’s version of Flag Day.

Evan Mathis, the All-Pro guard, was called for holding.

On third-and-a-mile, Foles threw a pass to a wide-open Bear.

Consider that favorite target Riley Cooper was on the sidelines in a walking boot and that the other wideout, Jeremy Maclin, was in his first game action in a more than a year after a serious knee injury.

Ifeanyi Momah started in place of Cooper. Brad Smith started in the slot position vacated by Jason Avant and yet to be claimed by the heir apparent, rookie second-round pick Jordan Matthews (four drops and little run-after-the-catch flash in his first action off the practice field, where he made a name for himself running every 3-yard gain to the end zone with no one chasing him).

I am as big of a Foles supporter there is, and I think with good cause. He is not my next-door neighbor or a relative, so there is no personal agenda other than I believe the Eagles can hitch themselves to his humble wagon and go places.

At some level, Foles may be a system quarterback who is in the right place at the right time, but that is not a bad thing.

The same could be said of Joe Montana, and it worked out OK for him with Bill Walsh in San Francisco.

So, yeah, let’s simmer down.

Those two interceptions the other night can be filed under fluke.

To be fair, his two interceptions all of last season – including the playoffs – were a fluke as well.

The long-term reality with Foles is that he will always be a quarterback who takes care of the ball pretty well. But things happen in this league. Balls get tipped at the line of scrimmage and land in enemy hands. Receivers make bad breaks.

And, yes, quarterbacks throw ill-advised passes that they want to have back.

The reality is that Chip Kelly’s offense, for all its perceived gadgetry, is fairly basic – and conservative – at its core. They run the ball a lot, and throw safe passes, while waiting for the wind-sucking defense to leave its guard down long enough for the big play to get mixed in.

Foles, despite not being Steve Young, runs it well.

The touchdown-to-interception ratio may change to something more mortal this season, but not his knowledge of the playbook.

So the whispers that Sanchez, the New York Jets refugee seeking to redeem a once-promising career, might be pushing Foles for the No. 1 job – instead of the more reasonable observation that he is clearly a more viable No.2 option over fellow USC alum Matt Barkley, need to be met with a scream.

A scream to just knock it off and be real.

The column initially appeared at http://www.phillyphanatics.com

GPS Needed To Reach Route 53

Burton

By GORDON GLANTZ

Gordonglantz50@gmail.com

@Managing2Edit

GORDONVILLE — There is a magic number, representing a harsh reality, hanging in the air at Eagles’ training camp.

Out of 90 hopefuls, only 53 can make the active roster.

That can be a lot or a little, depending on how one looks at it. The reality is that the bare minimum comes in at a much lower head count.

On offense – with three quarterbacks, three running backs, two tight ends, four receivers and eight offensive linemen – you have 19 spots.

Going the other way, in a 3-4 base defense – with six defensive linemen, six linebackers, four corners and three safeties – you have  19 more.

Add in three specialists – kicker, punter and long snapper – the total is 41.

The other 12 spots can be filled as coach Chip Kelly and his coaching staff, perhaps with input from general manager Howie Roseman and others in the front office mindful of contracts and salary-cap hits, sees fit.

The option is there to go heavy at certain positions – but not all – creating the need for versatility (i.e. offensive and defensive linemen who can multiple spots).

In some cases, it will come down to need, whether that relates to the system or the health of locked-in starters.

But, in most scenarios, it is about the dozen out of the remaining 59 players stepping up and becoming difficult to axe.

The process began with OTAs, continued with pads on in training camp and shifts into high gear with preseason games (the first test is Friday in Chicago against the Bears).

For those of you who bemoan preseason games, saying there is nothing to watch and that you just hope the key players emerge unscathed, you are probably not looking hard enough.

Barring injuries, let’s take an early positional snapshot of the roster and the quest to get to 53:

OFFENSE

Quarterback (3): The locks are starter Nick Foles, likely No. 2 Mark Sanchez and second-year man Matt Barkley.

That would leave G.J. Kinne on the outside looking in, but the Tulsa product is a well-liked team guy and could be kept on the practice squad with an eye toward being the future No. 3 a year from now when Sanchez moves on and Barkley moves up as Foles’ backup. At the least, Kinne will get enough snaps early in the preseason to audition for other teams not as well-stocked.

Running Back (3 or 4): The locks are reigning rushing champion LeSean McCoy, utility back Darren Sproles and Chris Polk.

Kelly would be rolling the dice by sticking with three running backs, but it could be done. He proclaimed that Matthew Tucker, who propelled himself into a paycheck last year with a strong camp as an undrafted rookie out of TCU, is reportedly entrenched as the No. 4. They have two undrafted backs of note in Henry Josey (Missouri) and David Fluellen (Toledo). Josey, who had a horrific knee injury in college and returned to have a solid year, could probably be slipped onto IR while Fluellen could slide to the practice squad. That would keep continuity for next year’s camp, but they would have to show enough to earn the investment. Either that, or one or the other could wrest the job from Tucker, assuming Kelly decides to keep four running backs.

Wide Receiver (5 or 6): This one bears watching, even with four spots nailed down by starters Riley Cooper (left) and Jeremy Maclin and rookies Jordan Matthews (second round) and Josh Huff (third). Matthews has been the talk of camp, and Huff played for Kelly at Oregon and was tabbed a round or two higher in the draft because of that gateway.

With Sproles in the mix, and second-year tight end Zach Ertz almost like a glorified slot receiver, there is really not a compelling need to go beyond five pairs of hands.

For those who dig redemption stories of redemption, there is Arrelious Benn. He’s 25 and former second-round pick of Tampa Bay, but has missed 27 games – including all of last year – with a laundry list of serious injuries (two knee surgeries, concussion, etc).

Much will depend on who lands the wide-open return job(s). Brad Smith and Damaris Johnson are both experienced NFL return men, but Kelly has already stated that both Matthews and Huff will get looks. Part of the decision may depend on Sproles, who was once a feared return man. Sproles broke the Eagles’ back with kick return in the playoffs last year, but his overall numbers in New Orleans last year pretty much mirror the pedestrian per-return stats posted by Johnson (although his decision-making is better).

Smith, a college quarterback and NFL veteran signed late last season, brings versatility that includes a locker room presence and special teams prowess. It would seem that he, or Oregon product Jeff Maehl, would be who Kelly would secretly like to see step out and shine. Maehl, along with Cooper, has spent training camp on the sidelines in a walking boot. That has opened the door for 6-7 project Ifeanyi Momah, and former Miami draft pick B.J. Cunningham, whose off-and-on fringe affiliation with the Eagles dates back to the prior coaching staff, to recently taking first-team reps in Cooper’s stead.

Tight End (2 or 3): Brent Celek entered the league as a fifth-round pick who had receiving skills but couldn’t block his own shadow. To his credit, he is now more of a blocker than receiver, with the aforementioned Ertz expected to give opposing defenses match-up fits.

Is anyone else needed? James Casey had just three catches last year, but did lead the team in solo special teams tackles. He is also the closest thing the Eagles have to a fullback and, like Smith, is a quality veteran on a young team. A player to watch is Trey Burton, an undrafted and versatile rookie out of Florida. While he may not make the roster, Burton could intrigue the staff enough to warrant a year on the practice squad to add bulk and take Casey’s place a year from now.

Offensive Line (9 or 10): This sound unit was thrown into disarray by the four-game suspension levied against second-year right tackle Lane Johnson for using a banned substance. For the time being, Alan Barbre has been plugged in at right tackle and the rest of the line – the Pro-Bowl left side of tackle Jason Peters and guard Evan Mathis, center Jason Kelce and right guard Todd Herremans – remains intact.

Johnson, who can stay through the preseason but can’t return to the team until after the fourth game and won’t count against the 53-man roster until then, has been working with the second unit. He likely won’t start until after the bye week, which is after six games.

Matters are further complicated by backup center Julian Vandervelde’s lingering back issues, which could open the door for journeyman David Molk, who has drawn some praise from the coaches. Second-year tackle Matt Tobin, who made the roster last summer as an undrafted rookie, is likely safe.

Others in the mix are Dennis Kelly, who started nine games at tackle as a rookie two years ago but was not activated at all last season, and journeyman Andrew Gardner. Kelly has been working at guard, next to Johnson, which may or not help his stock. It depends whether the coaches can envision the tough-but-slow Kelly as a viable option at tackle in this break-neck system or if his only shot is as a guard.

Some undrafted rookies – namely tackle Kevin Graf out of USC – have made early impressions as well, meaning that the attempts to make 6-8 and 340-pound Mike Bamiro into an NFL player could be chalked up to a well-meaning experiment gone awry.

DEFENSE

Defensive Line (6, 7 or 8): This is where the ripple effect of other positions, such as receiver and offensive line, can be felt. Defensive ends Fletcher Cox and Cedric Thornton, along with returning nose tackle Bennie Logan, are locks.

Word is that former second-round pick Vinny Curry, despite being more of a natural 4-3 end, has added bulk to his frame and is ready to be more than just an option on passing downs. Fifth-round pick Taylor Hart, another Oregon product who got his Duck on for defensive line coach Jerry Azzinaro, would have to play himself out of job as a reserve defensive end (with some capability to also line up over the nose on obvious passing downs). Aside from Matthews on the offensive side of the ball, rookie nose tackle Beau Allen – a seventh-round pick from Wisconsin – has been earning the most positive headlines among the rookies at training camp.

The above group – the three returning starters, two rookies and Curry – provides six young and ascending linemen. How many jobs are left? There is Damion Square, who made it as an undrafted rookie last year out of Alabama. Square found himself as the backup nose tackle, despite being undersized (south of 300 pounds, which is virtually unheard of for the position). He has NFL ability but might be better suited as a backup tackle in a 4-3 scheme.

This would seem like a position they could go short on, staying at six, unless a player on the bubble steps up. In this context, keep an eye out for second-year ends Joe Kruger and Brandon Bair. Kruger was a seventh-round pick last year but spend the season on IR. Bair – from, you got it, Oregon – is sort of like the Kinne of the defense. Nobody is more in his corner than the coaches.

Where does that leave Alejandro Villanueva, the war hero looking for a Vince Papale-like storyline? They owe him a spot on the practice squad, if he wants it. Problem is, with so many young linemen in the mix, there is no guarantee of a job opening in the future.

Linebacker (8 or 9): Locked in are the starters, Connor Barwin and Trent Cole (left) on the outside and the heart of the defense on the inside, with spiritual leader DeMeco Ryans and emerging star Mychal Kendricks.

The backup jobs are where it gets interesting. First-rounder Marcus Smith, though a project, makes it five linebackers. With the need to improve kick coverage, Bryan Braman has a job all but secured. The question would be if they are comfortable with either Smith or Braman being the next up if there were an injury. If not them, then who? Former first-round pick Brandon Graham, who is a 4-3 end trapped in a system forcing him to be an OLB? Untested but intriguing second-year man Travis Long?  Logic would dictate Long or Graham make the team, but not both. Graham has more experience, but Long makes less money and is probably a more willing special teamer.

Assuming they end up keeping five outside linebackers – with neither Smith nor Braman really options to do more than finish up a game out of necessity – what do they do at backup inside linebacker? Kelly singled that out as a spot of need heading into the draft. They came out the other end without anyone new.

Of the holdovers, it would seem Najee Goode, who was picked up on waivers last season from Tampa Bay and actually started a game, has the early edge over Casey Matthews, Emmanuel Acho and Jason Phillips. All but Acho can play some outside linebacker, if needed, and are above-average special teams players.

Don’t be surprised if a veteran cut loose from another team later in the preseason is added to the mix here, making any and all of the middling group of inside linebacker candidates expendable.

Secondary (8, 9, or 10): Ideally, with the league the way it is now, you can never have too many defensive backs. Five corners and five safeties would be a defensive coordinator’s dream. But, there is reality to consider. Ten could be a luxury, and probably will be with this group.

The corners are set with Cary Williams, Bradley Fletcher and Nolan Carroll on the outside and Brandon Boykin manning the nickel. Also worth watching is how much of a chance Carroll and/or Boykin get at return jobs, which could affect how many receivers stick.

Curtis Marsh is finally “getting it,” and having a good camp, but that might only be enough to land him a job elsewhere. Fourth-round pick Jaylen Watkins, provides the versatility of playing corner – outside and slot – and safety. Watkins’ versatility, combined with his special teams prowess, might take a job away from a fifth pure safety.

Behind Malcolm Jenkins, the gem of the free agent class, there is the ongoing battle between Earl Wolff and Nate Allen to start beside him. Behind them are fifth-round pick Ed Reynolds, who was heralded a steal but has reportedly taken some lumps in camp, and special-teams ace Chris Maragos. Add in rookie free agent Daytowion Lowe and second-year man Keelan Johnson, who is facing some legal issues back in Arizona, and this position is one of the more hotly contested in training camp.

It would seem that if Wolff beats Allen cleanly for the starting job, Allen’s lack of special teams experience could put him on the unemployment line, but that remains a big “if,” given Wolff’s inability to stay healthy.

SPECIAL TEAMS

Specialists (3): Easy. Alex Henery is likely to remain the kicker. Punter Donnie Jones and snapper Jon Dorenbos do not even have token competition in camp.

SUMMARY

We started off with 41, with 12 jobs up for grabs. Counting the high-end projections at each spot, we have 56. That’s three over the maximum (four, if Lane Johnson’s spot is filled until he returns, which is not a guarantee). Sometimes these things work themselves out with injuries. Other times, hard decisions have to be made.

For Eagles Nation, the hope is that the decisions are the right ones.

This analysis originally appeared at http://www.phillyphanatics.com

 

Turning Away From The Trainwreck

Bube2

By GORDON GLANTZ

Gordonglantz50@gmail.com

@Managing2Edit

GORDONVILLE — May 25, 2014.

That was the day that the president used the occasion of Memorial Day weekend to visit troops in Afghanistan, California was memorializing the victims of a shooting rampage two days earlier and Pope Francis visited the Holy Land and talked about … peace in the region.

It was also the day that Sofia had a play date about 45 minutes from our house. Not too far to say no, but too far to go home just to come back 2½ hours later.

My wife and I decided to use the occasion to explore the thriving metropolis of Harleysville (Montgomery County).

Not feeling much like the Vikings of yore, we wound up at a joint called the Harleysville Hotel, which is a pub/sports bar that I suppose is hoping on Friday and Saturday nights.

We sat down at a table that, literally, had a TV screen right above us.

There was no choice but to look at it.

And the Phillies game was on.

I told my wife that this was the first time I had bothered to lay eyes on the Phils this season. Surprised, she asked why.

I answered her question with a question: why should I?

While I rarely win an argument – especially when your wife is lawyer – she accepted my rationale.

It was already predetermined that the 2014 season was going to be like a B-level action-adventure flick with the well-worn plot twists, mandatory car chases, gratuitous violence and predictable ending.

It’s the kind of movie that permeates the cable dial, and the kind that I click right through in a desperate attempt to stimulate the few remaining brain cells I have left.

The 2014 Phillies, by design, were pretty much the same way. They entered the season needing everything to go absolutely perfect to maybe linger in the conversation for a wild card berth.

Instead, nothing has gone right.

And I say goodbye and good riddance.

On May 25, the villain of this horror movie was Josh Beckett of the Dodgers. From the few early-game pitches I watched, while also checking out the more enthusiastically played college softball game on another screen, I muttered that the feeble Phillies were not going to touch him.

As the burger and fries arrived, I paid more attention to the stubborn ketchup bottle than to the Phillies.

It wasn’t until I got home later and was scouring the Internet for sports information as I prepared for the pending PhillyPhanatics.com Blog Talk Radio show that I saw Beckett had actually no-hit the Phillies.

I was neither mortified nor embarrassed to be Philly-born and bred.

I was simply bemused.

And in the months since, I have looked back on that day with regret.

Had we not walked into the Harleysville Hotel, a place with more television screens than patrons, I would be able to say that I made it through the current season without watching a pitch.

Instead, there is a caveat: I have not watched a pitch by conscious choice, and the only time I did by happenstance was the same day when they were humbled into a state of hitlessness in a season that has seen a once powerful offensive team come up as futile as the pope’s pleas for peace.

OBJECTIVE VIEW

It’s not like I am some sort of sports seer – like some Vegas oddsmaker with the soul of Nostradamus – to know that the Phillies were not going to be worth the time and effort.

I was just objective enough to not be like a subjective kid in a Phillies’ cap.

And it’s not like I dislike baseball.

The Phillies were my first favorite team in 1970. I learned to read the sports agate page by comparing their record against that of the National League West cellar-dwelling San Diego Padres. I watched repeated showings of highlights on the 1950 World Series during rain delays until the slow and steady rise by the middle of the “Me” decade culminated with a highlight to wash away being swept by the Yankees as the high-water mark.

In 1980, and in heart-stopping fashion, they won it all.

I never really mustered the same enthusiasm for the Phillies, or baseball, after the moment when Tug McGraw fanned Willie Wilson with Philly’s finest walking behind the backstop with police dogs on leashes.

It was like finally getting to kiss your high school crush at graduation, and checking it off the bucket list.

Baseball was probably No. 4 on my list – football slowly overtook hockey, with basketball a semi-distant third – but anyone who knows me knows that there pretty much is no No. 5.

No golf. No tennis. No soccer. No NASCAR. No Boxing.

Just the big four – including baseball, and I’m not wired to do anything other than to root, root, root for the home team.

Yes, I still cringed when Jim Fregosi pulled Roger Mason for a worn-out Mitch Williams. From my sixth sense, I knew the Joe Carter homer was coming, just like I knew this disastrous season was on the horizon before the first story about a non-roster invitee coming off Tommy John surgery ran in the antiques known as newspapers on the day when pitchers and catchers reported back in February.

I still played fantasy baseball in a carry-over league, building a team that was ready to dominate before the strike of 1994 caused the league to fold.

I still went to Cooperstown a few years later and considered it the hallowed ground that it is, even without Pete Rose and Shoeless Joe Jackson enshrined.

And I’ll talk baseball – arguing matters like whether the 1977, 1980 or 2008 Phillies were the best in franchise history (I got 1977) and what 25 guys would make the roster of the All-Jewish Team – without hesitation.

Heck, my favorite all-time board game remains Strat-O-Matic Baseball.

I enjoyed the window of opportunity being reopened in the first decade of the new century, one that saw a World Series title in 2008 and a loss to the Yankees in the 2009 World Series before the slow and steady decline to where we are now began.

It now seems that my 7-year-old Sofia, who I will have seen bat more times this year in her coach-pitch softball league (I was an assistant to the assistant coach) than Ryan Howard or Chase Utley until the ends of their careers, will also be watching highlights of a World Series loss (circa 2009) to the dang Yanks two decades from now.

The difference is that she probably won’t care.

And if she does, it won’t be from my influence.

FINAL STRAW

If I had a final straw on the back of a camel under the care of a chiropractor, it was the trade deadline that just passed with nary a move by overmatched GM Ruben Amaro Jr.

It is true confession time, folks.

I may not have been subjecting myself to the pitch-by-pitch torture of games – although maybe I would if I suffered from insomnia – but I have been following the Phillies fairly closely.

I check the boxscores, and team stats, every morning after a game. I read whatever I can about the progress – or lack thereof – of the few farmhands that, through attrition, they sell to the unwashed masses as prospects.

And I was getting psyched for the possibilities of the trade deadline.

Understanding that baseball is not like other sports, where being brutal does not guarantee a chance for a short wait before retooling through the draft or farm system (even if the stink in the barn is fumigated by the arrival of imports from other organizations), it was clear a push onto the reset button was vital.

They may have even become worth watching, dare I say it, if only for the sake of morbid curiosity.

It came and went with nothing.

A hollow feeling, to say the least.

I had the MLB Network on the tube for more than two hours – after clicking through some “B” movies – and they didn’t even mentioned the word “Phillies” until a half-hour after the deadline pass.

And when they did, it was with a passing chuckle and shrug.

A recent potentate, your Phillies have plummeted that far off the radar screen.

Bottom line: This organization can’t get out its own way if it tried.

The farm system is in shambles, both in terms of finding talent and cultivating what bit of it remains. Everywhere you look, you see once-heralded homegrown players – Maikel Franco, Freddie Galvis, Roman Quinn Jesse Biddle, etc. – backsliding.

And they can’t even make a trade, if only for the sake of doing it to make themselves relevant (with the Eagles about to render them completely irrelevant), while in “seller” mode.

Amaro can’t be trusted to rebuild. And his boss, Dave Montgomery, is best-suited to be in his office deciding what date would best to give away Harry Kalas bobblehead dolls.

But the real issue, the core of the matter, is not about either one of the non-dynamic duo who get pushed out in front of television cameras to bemoan bad luck of injuries.

GETTING OWNED

I recently came across a poll that asked which Philadelphia team you’d buy if money were no object.

My answer, after careful consideration, was the Phillies.

Even though they are No. 4 on my list.

Even though baseball, compared to the other three major sports, brings up the rear here in Gordonville.

Even though I haven’t watched a pitch – by choice – this season, and certainly don’t plan to with the sounds of pads popping at Eagles’ training camp.

Why?

Better question than about my blind eye to their B-movie script and Bollywood ending.

The other three teams are in better hands. They may make mistakes, but the goal is to win, not just exist in a state of suspended animation.

My purchase of the Phillies would be done as a public service. Personally, I am good with the Phillies, overall. Numerous division titles, five pennants and two World Series titles since I dared to care at age 5.

But what about everyone out there who still cares? They are the ones being slapped in the face while being asked to present their mortgage papers to bring their families to a game.

You could say the Phillies’ high payroll is proof that the mystical ownership group lurking in the shadows cares about winning, but it was more caring about the windfall of a window of opportunity opening by happenstance – and in spite of a dunce for a manager – a few years back.

They developed man-crushes on the nucleus of the team, sticking themselves with onerous contracts and not realizing they needed to make pragmatic moves before standing in quicksand and yelling “help” at the 2014 trading deadline while the rest of the league laughs.

Without going to Google, can you name one of the Phillies’ owners?

I can’t.

And until one steps out of the shadows and takes charge, I am not watching.

Not even at the Harleysville Hotel.

This column first appeared at http://www.phillyphanatics.com

The Vince Papale Brigade: Gonna Try Like An Eagle

Papale

By GORDON GLANTZ

Gordonglantz50@gmail.com

@Managing2Edit

GORDONVILLE – How does Jeremy Maclin look, and feel, after the second major knee surgery of his football career?

What does Nick Foles have to say – or not have to say – as he boards the S.S. Season After?

Will the defense rest, or surge forward, with free agent signee Malcom Jenkins taking over as the captain of the secondary?

These, and other questions, have been exhausted – sometimes so much that they have gone into auto-pilot – just during the OTA workouts that were open to the media at Fort Chip Kelly (i.e. the Novacare Complex).

With training camp around the immediate bend, there are enough side stories that as many reporters and bloggers – and cameramen who could audition as lead blockers on short-yardage situations – will be initially around the lockers of players whose names are barely known to the casual fan as those of Foles or Maclin or LeSean McCoy or Brandon Boykin or Fletcher Cox or DeMeco Ryans.

And while every player who made it to this level has a tale to tell, some have journeys – and backgrounds – that are more compelling than others.

Part of the urgency for the all-out blitz is to get these stories told is not only while they are hot, but also before they rot.

Before the first round of cuts, hope is in the air.

We are talking about some longshots whose ceiling of expectations is landing on the practice squad, or doing enough positive things to end up on the practice squad of another team – or to get a call from the CFL, Arena League or one of the ancillary pro leagues that are popping up.

In some cases, if only from being in the right place at the right time, there are actually guys who could be Philadelphia Eagles this season or who are seen as worthy of long-term investments.

It’s a tough task, getting onto Kelly’s radar, as we are talking about an ascending team that went 10-6 and won the division last season with a young nucleus.

But, in some cases, difficult is a long way from impossible. The odds are that there will be disheartening injuries and surprises cuts, opening the door of opportunity for those who dare to knock.

Given this reality, consider this look at 10 intriguing VPTs (Vince Papale Types) as a public service. An informed fan base is better than having to ask “Who is this guy?” when a player makes a key special teams play in the ninth game of the season. You don’t want to be “that dude” when watching a game with your buddies, do you?

So get ready to run through the gauntlet of snapshots of the longshots:

Alejandro Villanueva, DE, Army: This could be where it begins and ends. The former wide receiver doesn’t dwarf that of the others only because of his stature (6-foot-9, 277 pounds), but also in overcoming adversity. A true war hero, with seven decorations to prove it, his attempt to make it the NFL is beyond compelling. Whether it is eventually fodder for Hollywood or the Hallmark Channel is up to him.

At Army, Villanueva was a defensive and offensive lineman who moved to receiver as a senior and caught a team-high 34 passes (five touchdowns) before heading into real combat as a Captain. His size alone would have likely gotten him a look as a tight end project coming out of school, but he had a commitment to serve his country. With the Eagles, whose 3-4 defensive scheme requires tall defensive linemen bookending a stout nose tackle, he is getting a chance to fulfill his dream at his original college position. The early reviews on a player who hasn’t played football since 2008 are long on how hard he is working, and how he is a quick learner, but short on lauding any standout skills (“intriguing” was the best Kelly could muster).

The Eagles did right by Villanueva by allowing him to pursue his dream in the birthplace of the country, but they have put themselves in a bit of bind. If he doesn’t stick, he goes back into active duty. It is unclear if that applies to the practice squad, though, and it is unclear if Villanueva himself will consider it dishonorable to be stashed on injured reserve with a contrived injury. He will need to convince the brass to keep seven or eight defensive linemen, as opposed to six, and will have to then beat out the likes of fourth-round pick Taylor Hart of Oregon and last year’s seventh-round pick, Joe Kruger, who spent last season on injured reserve and returns more polished.

Because none of the others are war heroes trying out for the NFL after four years of active duty, they are listed in alphabetical order:

Beau Allen, NT, Wisconsin: The Academic All-Big 10 choice who apparently has been on Kelly’s radar for a while, was picked in the seventh round. But Allen, literally and figuratively, fills an immediate void with his girth (6-2, 333 pounds). A colorful character with Thor-like blond locks dangling from him helmet, Allen may end up contributing as much as any draft pick, at least on the defensive side of the ball. That includes first-round pick Marcus Smith, who may be deactivated early on while learning the nuances of playing outside linebacker. Allen, meanwhile, is pure run-stuffing nose tackle. His presence will, at the very least, save wear and tear on second-year starter Bennie Logan (6-2, 317). At the most, Allen could play enough snaps on running downs that the smaller-but-quicker Logan, a third-round pick last year, can line up at end.

Michael Bamiro, OL, Stony Brook: A year ago, the NFL admittedly goofed by not allowing Bamiro declare for the draft, during which it was purported that he might have been a middle-round pick. He was declared a free agent, and the Eagles won a bidding war. What they soon learned about the small-school product was that while you can’t teach size – he’s 6-8, 340 – you also can’t iron out rough edges. He was cu,t but brought back onto the practice squad. This year, during the OTAs that he missed a year ago, Bamiro was shuttled between guard and tackle. Could be a sign they see versatility or it could mean that they don’t see him having the footwork to be an NFL tackle. However, with right tackle Lane Johnson suspended for the first four games of the year, Bamiro is one of several linemen with a shot to hold down the job. Opportunity knocks. Will he answer?

Trey Burton, WR/TE, Florida: As a Gator, Burton was an “athlete” without a position. And if you can’t find a niche at the college level, it should be nearly impossible in the NFL. But as a talent who was recruited asa  running quarterback and eventually lined up at every skill position, one would have to think Kelly’s wheels were turning in double time when the Birds pounced on Burton after the draft.  He is 6-2, 225, and ran a 4.54 40 at the combine. That made him one of the bigger-but-slower receivers or one of the smaller-but-faster tight ends. If Kelly can figure out a role for a guy who scored 20 college touchdowns in a variety of ways, he could factor in the offense down the road – even if that is a year or two down the line. How he is utilized, and how much, will be intriguing to watch for those who actually maintain focus during preseason games.

Henry Josey, RB, Missouri: Another one of those guys with a back story that will elicit justifiable sympathy. Back in 2011, Josey (5-8, 195) was in the midst of a dream season – sitting at second NCAA at 8.1 yards per carry – when the dream turned a nightmare. He suffered a knee injury so severe that it was considered a medical miracle when, after a year away, he played in all of Missouri’s 14 games last season. He put up numbers (1,166 yards rushing, 14 touchdowns), but concerns about his knee surely led to him going undrafted, which may have made him regret not returning for his senior year. But when the Eagles traded away Bryce Brown, moving up in the seventh round to grab Allen and also picking up a future middle-round pick, he seemed like a logical priority post-draft free agent. The job is there – behind McCoy, Darren Sproles and Chris Polk – but Josey will not only have to stay healthy and grasp the system, but also fend off second-year man Matthew Tucker, who made the team last year as an undrafted free agent out of TCU, and fellow undrafted rookie David Fluellen.

G.J. Kinne, QB, Tulsa: Kinne was working on an oil rig when he came to camp last year and impressed Kelly when he volunteered to play special teams. He was cut, but brought back to the practice squad and kept throughout the offseason, which would indicate they made have some long-range plan for Kinne to be a the third-string quarterback of the future. He will enter camp behind Foles, Mark Sanchez and Matt Barkley and isn’t likely to move up the depth chart. But considering how well he knows the system by now, and that Sanchez is only here on a one-year deal, the thinking could be that Barkley moves up to No. 2 in 2015 and Kinne becomes the No. 3. A mobile quarterback with some zip on his passes, Kinne could play well enough in the early preseason games to stick around again for another year. Either that, or go back to the oil rig.

Travis Long, OLB, Washington State: Right now, Long could go down to Pat’s or Geno’s for a cheesesteak and not be asked for an autograph. When the dominos fall at outside linebacker, Long – after living the life of Job in college, suffering injuries that kept him being a middle-round pick (or even being signed immediately after the 2013 draft) – remains on the radar of the coaching staff after year on the practice squad. He has the size (6-4, 255) and toughness, and now has the scheme down. If he shows up on special teams, the higher-paid Brandon Graham could be out of work.

Daytawion Lowe, FS, Oklahoma State: Somebody will realize that two plus two equals four soon enough and run up to the undrafted free agent soon enough with a notepad in hand. With the exception of Josey, Lowe was the highest rated of players signed after the draft. And he plays safety, a position of need. Write the name down and tuck it away.

Ifeanyi Momah, WR. Boston College: He’s back. The wide receiver landscape for the Eagles is vastly different this year, and the 6-8 Momah, who was a raw project the Eagles brought to camp last year and cut before the season, could benefit. With Sproles and tight end Zach Ertz able to line up at more than just their traditional positions, the Eagles may not keep more than five receivers on their active roster. That would necessitate extra sets of hands – like Burton – for the practice squad. You can’t teach size (see Bamiro), so Momah has a legitimate shot to at least be in the program for further development. If he can’t stick this time, though, don’t expect any third chances.

Carey Spear, PK, Vanderbilt: The story line that won’t die, unless the rookie free agent kicker dubbed “Murder Leg” pulls the plug himself. Spear was an OK kicker in college, but only worked out for five pro teams and went undrafted. Some of his tackles went viral on You Tube, but one has to wonder about his leg strength on kickoffs if he had to make so many touchdown-saving stops. As a field goal kicker, he did well enough in OTAs to stick on the team for camp, but remains token competition for third-year kicker Alex Henery, who is coming off a sub-par season but remains the most viable option.

This analysis originally appeared on http://www.phillyphanatics.com on July 20, 2014.

No Gray Area: Life Is Sweet

Merchant

By GORDON GLANTZ

Gordonglantz50@gmail.com

Managing2Edit

GORDONVILLE – When Natalie Merchant took the stage at the American Music Theatre in Lancaster on July 9, my excitement of seeing one of the more provocative singer-songwriter voices of my formative years briefly turned to more to melancholy from my close-up view (third row, center).

When I had seen Merchant in concert – back when she fronted the 10,000 Maniacs in the 1980s and once shortly after she launched her solo career in 1993 – she was a restrained whirling dervish in patented schoolgirl attire.

About a year and a half older than myself, there was a combination of youthful exuberance within both of us, I suppose.

But on July 9 – 2014 – time had passed.

My initial shock of seeing her hair, now less than shoulder length and turned almost all gray was a not-so-subtle reminder of the evaporated decades.

Still dressed the same, but slightly more full-figured, and one would without prior knowledge might be tempted to quip that Merchant looked somewhat silly.

She barely began the first song – “Lulu,” from her new CD – when I reflected on myself.

If Natalie could see a picture of the “much fuller” G2 that used to see her in concert and the one now, she may have had some initial shock as well.

I also rock some gray, particularly in my goatee, and far less hair on top of a dome that once housed curls to spare.

And like Natalie, I’m not vain enough to do anything about the gray. And I’ll do a Kojak before the monstrosity of a weave or wig to combat the baldness.

I am also a married man now — one who spent most of the concert with my daughter, 7, on my lap because the seating Gods predictably placed “that guy” in front of her (and chose my lap over switching seats).

As Merchant sang “Lulu” – a carefully crafted song about Louise Brooks, a silent film star whose mind of her own led to with a quick fall from grace – it quickly became all about the music.

The verses of the opening song ended with the lines “everybody knew your name” before changing to “everybody cursed your name” before concluding with “nobody knew your name.”

And at some level, one has to wonder if Merchant saw herself in the subject of the song, causing her to pen it.

Any of us who have experienced a rise and fall can certainly relate to the story of Brooks.

And to that of Merchant.

Like me, Natalie became a parent later in life. I’m sure it created a seismic shift in priorities. Your career, whether as an acclaimed singer-songwriter or a big-fish-in-a-small-pond journalist, takes a back seat to the most important job you will have.

Backed by a multi-piece band that included strings, Merchant continued with a set list of mostly slower introspective songs – like “River” (about River Phoenix), “Seven Years” and “Beloved Wife” — that may not immediately register with the casual fan expecting a greatest hits package.

Merchant may or may not have been completely “into it” at the start. Just another gig in just another town, far from the big cities and larger venues she used to play, but this audience was loaded with diehards.

“We still love you, Natalie,” was a common refrain from the audience between songs.

While the music was well-rehearsed and beautiful from the jump, the vibe began to build like a life force.

You wish you could bottle it up, but that would make it less special when it does reveal itself.

You just have to let it happen, and absorb it when it does.

Merchant began moving to the music with less inhibition, and interacting — and being playful — with the audience.

(Note: This was confirmed by “that guy” after the show. He was in front of me in line in the bathroom and holding a set list he copped from one of the performers. He said he had seen her four times on the tour, and this was the most “free” she seemed.)

Whenever Merchant performed a song from the new release, her first of original material in 13 years, she jokingly held up the CD case and gently reminded the crowd that it was for sale in the lobby.

She also added that there were no T-shirts because “she doesn’t like seeing her face” on them.

I vividly remember having a 10,000 Maniacs shirt back in the day, and it was of an album cover with no faces, so the logic is debatable.

But I’ll manage to survive.

This is just Natalie being Natalie.

If she were like everyone else – basking in the limelight with the likes of Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Beyonce, etc. – she wouldn’t be her.

And I wouldn’t be there in the third row, with my daughter on my lap, soaking up the moment and using the opportunity to replay my own trials and tribulations while relating – as I always have – to her insightful and unique lyrics.

And on July 9, there was no better place on the planet to be.

It all got the best of me during “Life Is Sweet” when she sang out: “But I tell you, life is short/Be thankful because before you know/It will be over … Cause life is sweet/And life is also very short/Your life is sweet.”

My wife instinctively knew that this song – with Sofia being held tight on my lap – was going to make me lose it, and reached across Sofia’s unused seat and rubbed my shoulder.

To my left, my mother glanced over – probably wondering what the big deal was – but some people just don’t get it (case in point, her only take-away after the show was that Merchant had a good voice but should buy a wig or “do something” about the premature gray).

But I do.

I always got it.

And Merchant was clearly getting it that her voice – and her songs – still had a place in this crazy, mixed-up world.

Merchant followed “Life Is Sweet” with “Ladybird,” my favorite track from the new CD, and ended the set with “Break Your Heart” before a rousing ovation brought her back to the stage.

While people starting shouting out requests, I felt a bit annoyed because I wanted to see what she had up her own sleeve without urging.

She heeded the plea of some joker who wanted to hear “Bleezer’s Ice Cream,” and she fortunately stopped after only eight bars and launched into “Wonder,” sparking more energy in the room that was growing more intimate by the song.

A woman approached the stage and gave her some flowers, then another came up and whispered something.

Merchant came back to the mic and said – in a playfully hushed tone – that the woman requested “something by 10,000 Maniacs.”

The audience responded as expected.

Merchant, who is often reluctant to fall back on songs from her old band, then added: “And I said … yes.”

“These Are Days” followed, and the audience that had spent much of the show sitting and intently absorbing the music was up on its feet clapping along (Sofia, too).

And something amazing happened. Maybe it was just the lighting, but her hair didn’t seem as gray.

And she smiled wide as she danced around with the old verve.

It was a transformation.

Natalie Merchant became the Natalie Merchant of a bygone era.

And I went there, too.

Welcome to the power of music.

I barely got to whisper to Sofia that “These Are Days” was the “summary” song at the end of Mommy and Daddy’s wedding video when more requests reigned down.

I cringed when I heard more mellow requests, and was pleasantly surprised when a call for “Hey Jack Kerouac” – one of my all-time favorite 10,000 Maniacs songs — was accepted, on the contingency that the guitar player knew it.

He did, and Merchant sang along while the drummer found a beat.

She continued with “Carnival” and urged the crowd to its feet with “Kind and Generous.”

When the song ended, she left us wanting more.

And everybody knew her name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

New GM, Same Old Song And Dance

Claude-Giroux

By GORDON GLANTZ

Gordonglantz50@gmail.com

@Managing2Edit

GORDONVILLE – It should have been the best of times for the Philadelphia Flyers – at least as far as offseasons go. They had a new general manager, albeit with old ties to the team, espousing a new and refreshing approach to building a legitimate Stanley Cup contender that was potentially going to be buoyed by the NHL entry draft being in town June 27-28.

Instead, with an “eh” draft followed by underwhelming signings at the start of free agency on July 1, it has been just a shade too boring to be the worst of times.

Case in point: The biggest story coming out of Flyerville was that Claude Giroux, the team captain, raised some maturity red flags while celebrating Canada Day (re: excuse to drink Moosehead and sing Rush songs) by “repeatedly grabbing the buttocks” of a male police officer.

Not exactly a blockbuster trade or free-agent signing of someone who can actually skate and chew gum at the same time. But deeper issues bubbled to the surface.

Last offseason, Giroux suffered a serious hand injury – one that clearly hampered his effectiveness well into the season – while golfing with teammate Jason Akeson. The incident was spun that Akeson’s heroic actions may have saved Giroux’s hand, but one wonders if it was the byproduct of more immaturity enhanced by the Moose being on the loose.

It is all supposition, and perhaps unfair to let imaginations run wild, but Giroux opened himself up to the gauntlet of perceived scenarios with his “ill-advised attempt at humor” that will now make him the “butt” of jokes in enemy rinks.

And the saddest part of the whole ordeal is that this story, which may or may not become a post-script to another season that puts him in the conversation for the Hart Trophy (MVP), is the only one that has any discussion-worthy legs from the draft until the present.

To be fair, GM Ron Hextall did reportedly go hard after the No. 1 overall pick in attempt to make a hometown splash, but one wonders if this was the case of the fat kid attempting a belly-flop in the baby pool before being flagged by the lifeguard.

Why not move up from No. 17 to somewhere in the Top 10, not No. 1, and not give up as much?

All – or nothing at all – seemed a little shortsighted in a draft that lacked the depth of last year, or next.

It still seemed like the Flyers would get a hometown bounce with the likes of Kasperi Kapanen, Alex Tuch and a pair of Russian-born snipers – Nikita Scherbak and Nikolai Goldobin – still on the board when their turn came.

Instead, in a move that has Flyer DNA all over it, they selected a tall Canadian-born defenseman – Travis Sanheim – higher than he was slotted in most scouting reports.

If they had tunnel-visioned themselves just to Sanheim, who just so happens to be distantly related to Hextall, why not trade back a few picks and pick up the fourth-rounder they didn’t have?

The tone was set for yet another draft class with more questions than a presidential press conference.

The second round pick, winger Nicholas Aube-Kubel, is saddled with a boom-or-bust tag by scouts – although the Flyers did take him about where he was rated, which is somewhat refreshing.

For the second straight year, they made up for not having a fourth-round pick by reaching in the third for defenseman Mark Friedman, who is still an upgrade over goon-in-waiting Tyrell Goulbourne (taken while Danish scoring machine Oliver Bjorkstrand, who had 50 goals and 109 points in juniors last season, was still on the board in the third round a year back).

After the vacated fourth, they finally went more international with their best value pick, Swedish winger Oskar Lindbloom, in the fifth round. They added a Russian-born center playing junior hockey on the same team as Sanheim, Radel Fazleev, in the sixth round. They then went very un-Flyeresque and an added an undersized (5-8) Swedish defenseman, Jesper Petersson, in the seventh.

The only explanation was that no one was related to someone in the front office (Nick Luuko, the son of former executive, Peter Luuko, was tabbed in the sixth round a few years ago and remains more suspect than prospect).

Who knew, at the time, that the final three picks of the draft – along with extending the contract of Brayden Schenn – would highlight an offseason lowlighted by Giroux’s Canada Day folly?

On July 1, the Flyers brought back Ray Emery to back up Steve Mason in net.

Then came July 2, which was the most active day for Hextall.  Akeson, seemingly the Darren Ruf of the organization, was signed to a two-way deal, pretty much sealing his fate as the big fish in the small Lehigh Valley pond when the AHL Phantoms skate closer to home.

Tye McGinn, who should have earned a fair shot at a roster spot on a scoring line after Scott Hartnell was swapped for checking winger R.J. Umberger, was instead shipped to San Jose for the third-round pick. Journeyman defenseman Nick Schultz was brought in as the seventh defenseman to replace last year’s Ruf Award winner, Erik Gustafsson.

Before the watched-paint could dry any more, NHL/AHL bubble players Andrew Gordon and Zack Stortini were added, the latter being a notorious minor-league goon.

Somebody stop this broken record.

The following day – as Hextall continued his daily exercise of to trying to give away Vincent Lecavalier for nothing  while the eating the crow known as a big portion of his onerous contract – Giroux issued his act of contrition, complete with babble about respect for police officers.

Considering that Giroux is cast in a leadership role as team captain, perhaps they would be better off keeping Lecavalier (and one has to question the wisdom of bringing back Kimmo Timonen, who should have been named captain when Giroux was, for another season at a nice price).

That was followed by news almost as exciting as adding Blair Jones and Rob Zepp (don’t bother remembering the names, unless you are planning on going to a lot of Phantoms’ games)  on the first day of free agency, as the Flyers brought back Chris VandeVelde on a two-way contract.

Yes, the same guy who skated in 18 games with the Flyers last year and managed one whole assist – while getting about a half-dozen feature articles written about him because of his loose connection to Hextall.

Sounds familiar, huh?

Same old song.

When it has no beat, and you can’t dance to it, you have to call it for what it is.

The worst of times.

The column originally appeared at http://www.phillyphanatics.com.